When You Date A Girl That Has Been Emotionally Abused

Everybody deals with unique scars from past relationships. Whether the relationship ended too soon, too late, because you grew apart, or just because you weren't feeling it, those scars don't equal to the scars that an emotionally abused girl suffers from.

When you date a girl that has been emotionally abused...

You'll find her happy most of the time. Generally, this happiness comes in the form of laughing all the time and at everything you say, or do. Don't let this laughter fool you. She's laughing at a number of things. One, she's terrified that if she doesn't laugh or find you humorous then you'll leave. And two, she's trying hard to not let you see the pain that is trying to seep through her smile.

When you date a girl that has been emotionally abused...

You'll find her apologizing for everything, literally everything, and you'll also find her asking for your permission to do petty things. This fear comes from the pain and the wounds that were inflicted upon her from a previous relationship. The previous partner made her feel like everything was her fault, and to stop the argument and silence the torture, she found herself learning to apologize, even though she had done no wrong. When she asks for permission, she's not only doing it out of respect for you and your feelings, but because previously she was made to feel guilty for doing things that made her happy.

When you date a girl that has been emotionally abused...

You'll find her lowering her head when you compliment her. This is because she honestly doesn't believe you. She's been hurt by those same compliments. Those same compliments that were hurled at her in the beginning of her past relationships, and then later dropped and almost reversed. This is because she's terrified that you'll do the same.

When you date a girl that has been emotionally abused...

You'll find her hiding her flaws, or the things that she was made to feel insecure about. This is because previously she was laughed at, or worse, scoffed at because of the yellowish color of her teeth. This is because she was looked at like one day he realized she wasn't as beautiful as he thought. This is because she wasn't looked at, at all. She was ignored. She was made to feel like she wasn't worth the second glance.

When you date a girl that has been emotionally abused...

You'll find her trying everything she can to keep y'all together. This is because she carries the burden in the back of her mind that 'maybe if I tried a little harder, maybe if I dressed up more, maybe if I didn't spend as much time with him then he would have stayed'. That doesn't mean that she would rather be with him than you, but it does mean that she blames herself.

When you date a girl that has been emotionally abused...

You'll find her sobbing uncontrollably into her pillow when she thinks you can't hear her. This is because she's terrified. She's terrified of opening her heart again. She's terrified that you will cause her to break again after she has tried so hard to put herself back together. At this point, her heart is like a 1000 piece puzzle. It's nearly impossible to keep all the pieces together. When you do lose a piece, it's destroys the purity of the whole puzzle.

When you date a girl that has been emotionally abused...

It doesn't take much to shatter that heart all over again. Loving her is going to be hard, and you should know that there is no way it could be easy. There isn't a shortcut to loving her, and I wish that I could tell you there was. All there is is effort, and a whole lot of prayer. All she wants is for one guy to treat her like she is the only thing that matters. All she wants is for one guy to put her above his cellphone or the ballgame on TV. All she wants is for one guy to mean it when he tells her he loves her. All she wants is for one guy to pray over her and to help her heal. All she wants is to be wanted, loved, cherished, and adored. She doesn't want your money, she doesn't want big fancy things. She just wants you to respect her, and to take care of her heart like you do with your truck. She needs that. She needs you.