You don't realize some things have changed until you glance behind your back and nothing looks the same. You get taller, you get wider, skinnier, smarter, bolder, and you meet new people. Somewhere along the way, your old childhood friendships that you thought would last forever fade away. It's okay. Circumstances change. Morals change. People change. It's inevitable, and it can be painful at times. You go through different stages when someone drifts out of your life. You ask questions like "was it something I said or did?" or "did I make time for them?" Sometimes it's not even that you did something wrong. Sometimes life just gets busy. I wrote this poem at 3 am when the wave of change and questioning wouldn't subside:
When We Were Kids
I'm not sure what I did wrong. Can I go back and change your mind?
It must have been some mistake that I made down the line
It's 3 am and I'm wide awake
Staring at a screen and wondering why that's not me?
Did I say something?
I'm my own keeper, so maybe my words went a little steeper than I intended
Maybe that's why after a lifetime of moments you've forgotten who I am
Maybe that's why I'm not in your plans again
I'm alone and thinking, alone and dreaming about being there in that frame
I need a moment for you to love me again
The same way you did
When we were kids