As soon as I turn on the radio, I find myself changing the stations.The lyrics are meaningless and dull. So, When I find an artist like Aurora who goes inside my head and makes my heart want to explode in a trillion pieces because of so much raw emotion, I don't let go. Below I decode lyrics from her song "I went too far" and reveal what they mean to me.
"I went too far when I was begging on my knees
Begging for your arms, for you to hold around me"
I should not have been craving love from this person. It should have been given without a price to pay. But I still tried and I figuratively still got on my knees.
"I went too far and kissed the ground beneath your feet"
It was still not enough. I was still deprived of love. But I remained hopeful. Even though the results were the same and the heartbreak hurt the same.
"Waiting for your love, waiting for our eyes to meet"
It's as if I was walking down a road with clear instructions and you couldn't even meet me half way.
"Crying 'give me some love, give me some love and hold me. Give me some love and hold me tight"
I pleaded with my actions that I was dying for your love. I felt I deserved it and it should come naturally. Over the years I learned that Love is never forced. I was still digging through the ashes.
"When I cut my hands, so you could stand and watch me bleed"
I bent over backwards and nourished our relationship in every way I could. And all you did was watch as I bled out. All that's left are scars that tell the story.
"Standing in my blood, it was a taste of bittersweet"
Bitter because I was hurting, sweet because you were enjoying it.
"Why can't I turn around and walk away?"
Because he is my father, my blood. I'd like to think that I'm his legacy, I'd like to think that one day he will call and tell me about his day and I'll tell him about mine. I'd like to think that he loved me once.
"I'm left behind with an empty hole
And everything I am is gone"
My chest cavity was exposed and I let you see the blood running through my veins. You were like death taking from me and in return I got nothing. I felt like nothing.
"I tried to reach for another soul
So I can feel whole"
I was wandering through alleys filled with broken glass penetrating my feet. My hand was stretched out in the Hopes somebody would grab it. In the hopes that you would grab it.
"I'll have to turn around and walk away
I couldn't stay, I had to walk away"
I've bled out, I've been scarred beyond recognition. There is no more room on my body. I love you, but I have to love myself now .
