Do you remember that moment, that feeling when you are happy, purely, flawlessly happy. When you look around and see people you love, things that you have so many great memories with. When you are not thinking about the future or the past. When you are completely engrossed by the present.
I was sitting at the table, eating the salad that I just made with my father. Arina was next to me, smearing a piece of bread with a beef paste. My mom was choosing a film to watch, and my father was opening a bottle of Prosecco.
It felt peaceful… even though we were laughing so hard - my cheeks would hurt and not go down. It felt familiar, even though we were in the town that is almost unrecognizable for me. It felt home.
Suddenly everything around me stopped. The snow wasn't falling outside, but instead looked like a thousand of falling stars. The water in the fountain became a iridescent garland. There was no action. Not even a sound. Only music integrated in this silence of a running away life.
In a slow motion I felt my guard going down more and more with every breath, like a dispersed dark fog, like a black funeral net falling from the hat.
At that very moment I realized that I am happy that I can actually be this happy, that I am allowed to be happy, when infinity seems trivial and problems nonexistent. When you value every minute, every second, so that you can remember how it feels… how it feels like to be loved, important, needed, cared about and significant. How it feels like when you belong.
And yes, things are not perfect, people will always disappoint and always hurt. But somehow when you are around the people close to your heart, these special human beings that you are so attached to, the teachers of life that know you so well that you understand each other without words, the people with whom you don't need to pretend, to put a mask on, with whom you are real, your are you. I am sure someone came to your mind.
Everything started moving again. Snow became snow, water was falling down, sounds from the tv touched my ears. My sister’s hand softly and slowly went over to my forehead and smoothed the wrinkles between my brows. A surprising tear dropped on her finger. She smiled. I looked at her beautiful eyes full of comprehension and support. My arms went around her waist. I closed my eyes and said: “I love you”.
