This week I sat down at my laptop and wanted to write an article on spirituality and my religion.
I didn’t necessarily know where to go, so I bowed my head and asked God, “Lord, what do you want me to write about this week?”
His response was, “You need to speak about where you’re at and what I’m teaching you.”
I let out a sigh and asked, “But, what is it you're teaching me?”
“Katlyn, you can’t do anything.” The response infuriated me until I let it soak into my soul.
I can be an extremely determined person, almost to a fault. If I want to do something, I am going to do it. If I don’t, then your attempts to convince me will fail. I’m very hot or cold in that way. After realizing that a few months ago, my life spiraled out of control and into a season of burn out.
I was hell-bent on reversing the damage and began setting countless goals for myself:
“Katlyn, you need to keep your house in perfect order. Don’t forget to revamp your portfolio and resume. What is the purpose of small group this year? September is right around the corner; you don’t have much time. You need to get back in the gym; you’ll be more energized. Man, you probably shouldn’t have done that. That wasn’t very God-honoring. Your anxiety has been pretty bad lately, and why do you think that is?”
Then it hit me. My anxiety was through the roof because I laid pounds of pressure on myself and tried carrying it all on my own. The intention was pure, but was I doing myself a favor?
Before entering this season, the Lord had spoken to me and said I needed to ground myself in His word and promised to get me through this valley. I had forgotten about His promise until recently.
A passage of scripture came to mind as all these goals and tasks swirled through my mind:
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” - John 15:4-8
As I sit and reflect, I am brought to tears. I've always been independent and tried to do everything on my own. Yet, God has not once called me to complete any task alone. He provides for my every need, big or small.
If we could complete things alone, we would boast in our accomplishments. However, God calls us to boast in Him. I don’t know about you, but I think God can get something done more efficiently and better than if I would on my own. He did create everything, and cannot he help me take care of my portfolio?
What does this mean for you? Trust in the Lord. Whether you consider yourself spiritual or not, I challenge you to try.
Growing up, I was always told not to test or question God. I’ve realized God takes any challenge and proves to me He is God and has my back.
Let’s keep the conversation open. What in your life are you doing on your own? Do you want to surrender to God and ask for His help and provision? Leave a comment below and let’s discuss.
