I had just graduated from college and I was desperate to find a job as I had moved to a town where cost of living was significantly higher than in the small college town I had called home for the past four years. I had my degree in Psychology and I had my Mental Health Rehabilitation Technician/Community license. Yet job after job after job I looked at or applied to said I just didn’t have enough experience. How was I supposed to get experience when I was a full time college student?

This struggle to find experience landed me in a Direct Support Professional position. A job that was at the base level of mental health or rehabilitation jobs. A job that required nothing more than a high school diploma to work there. I was discouraged. I was desperate. I took the job knowing I could do so much better, but it was what I was offered.

For the past five months I have managed to pay rent, hospital bills, gas, internet, cable and buy groceries making 548 dollars on a bi-weekly basis. On a monthly basis I would bring in 1096. My half of rent was 607.50 which brought me down to 488.60. My half of internet and cable was 62.50 which left me with 426. I paid 50 a month for hospital bills, 80 a month for gas, and 150 a month for my half of groceries. At the end of it all I was left with about 146 that I could use for whatever I wanted. Thankfully, my student loans allowed for me to have a refund check. But if I wasn’t fortunate enough to have that I have no idea how I would get by.

My job wasn’t hard as far as Direct Support jobs go. I wasn’t having to shower people or toilet them. I wasn’t doing with incontinence or seizures or anything really. I was sitting in an office, doing my homework, all day, every shift. Sometimes I did some cooking, but my residents were able to make breakfast and lunch for themselves. I was mainly in charge of the budgeting and the menu planning. My job wasn’t hard. It was boring. Beyond boring. Boredom makes me stress out.

The hours were kind of awful. I gave up every Saturday of my summer and if I wanted one off it could only happen if I found someone who was willing to work for me. It didn’t matter if I had EBT time or not, if no one wanted my Saturday I was shit out of luck.

But I dealt with it. I dealt with going home every night hating my job. I dealt with waking up every morning with an inconceivable amount of grief having to go to my job. I dealt with having to choose between having family time and driving to Waterville or having a day off with my boyfriend because we only had one day off together. I dealt with never seeing my friends because they worked weekdays and I worked weekends. It sucked. This summer was awful. But I dealt with it.

I dealt with it until 2am Friday October 6. My shift was 4pm to 12am on Thursday and yet here I was 2 hours later. My coworker hadn’t shown up to relieve me at midnight. I called my boss and there was no answer. There was no administrator on duty. My coworker wasn’t picking up his phone. I was beyond tired and I was starting to get stressed out from it. It was at that moment that I decided this job was no longer worth it. The money was no longer worth it. A few days later I put in my two weeks notice without a backup plan. I had no job in place and I still don’t have a job in place. However, I would rather not have a job than be miserable every day of my life.

My biggest advice to anyone is to not let yourself be unhappy in your job. Money is important, but so is your mental well-being. You should not sacrifice your emotional stability for a job. I did it for five months and I’m just too tired for it anymore. Too tired of not doing anything.

You need to be the most important person in your life.