There are a lot of things in life that I expect to change quickly, but you were never one of them. If you ever read this, you should know that these words were not written out of spite. Warning: This is an actual narrative about what it was like to be with you.
My Ex Boyfriend?
How do you even describe someone such as my ex-boyfriend? He's everything I wanted and everything I didn't. I know. "How is that possible?" you ask. But, that's the thing, it is. It's far more possible than you know. See, with him, you have two sides. You have the spiteful, stubborn, asshole who just makes you want to punch him in the face. But then you have, well in my case had, this side that was wonderful. Polite, sexy, caring, and sweet all in one. I know what you're thinking, how can you have both and how could you want both? When I say "had," let's make something clear, I'm not insinuating I "had" him in the sense that he was a possession that I lost. I'm insinuating I had as in I had him and then I returned him.
My ex is like a library book. I roamed through the library shelves not really looking for anything in particular when one caught my eye. I read the preview on the inside of the cover and was hooked like I am with any good book. I walked to the checkout desk and, for a few days, it was mine. I got home and dove right in. I ranted and raved about how good the book was online to my friends as soon as I got through a few chapters.
All of the sudden, the book wasn't what I thought it was. The genre changed, the plot took a turn for the worse and the synopsis I read on the inside of the cover didn't make sense. The world I built up in my mind about this book and the reviews I wrote were no longer true. I tried slamming the book shut but I couldn't get it off of my mind. What went wrong in this book? Was the genre romance or horror?
You see, the problem that I let slip once I started reading is that he and this book were never really mine to begin with. I was merely a reader and sometimes the reader gets so caught up in the book that they have no idea that they have the power to stop reading once the book is no longer interesting, yet they continue because they feel like they are apart of the book and owe it to the book and to themselves to finish it.
They keep the book in hopes that it has a different ending. But it doesn't.
It was already too late. I didn't know that it was past due. I was still trying to read and re-read the book long after it had ended hoping that, if I kept trying, the book would change or maybe I missed something that would make this all make sense. But it didn't and I wasn't going to, it was never going to change and I was never going to find something I missed. I was starting to rack up late fees and calls from the library wanting the book back. I realized that the longer I kept the book, the more it would hurt me and the more the negative consequences would start to pile up. And I kept the book for way too long, it was overdue and so was he.
And that, that is how I would describe my ex-boyfriend.
