My Dream When I Grew Up Still Hasn't Come True

My Dream When I Grew Up Still Hasn't Come True

The reality when it comes to making childhood dreams real life is not so simple.
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One of the groups I'm in on Facebook asked a pair of interesting questions. 'What did you want to do when you grew up? Did you do it?' The majority of the 120 people who answered said no.

I knew I wanted to be a writer. I wanted people to be excited and amazed by the stories I wrote, and to know me intimately through my poetry.

Outside of publishing individual poems in various publications, relentlessly pursuing a Bachelor's degree in English/creative writing, and submitting pieces to Odyssey every week, I am still no closer to being the writer I've always wanted to be.

I feel like it was much easier to achieve my dream before the technology age. There were rolemodels who already blazed the path of finding success publishing the same subject matters I write. Publishing in the same way I wanted to publish.

Building a platform was much simpler. Readers actually read paper books. Information was at its greatest peak with the turn of a page instead of at the click of a mouse or at the tap of an electronic keyboard.

Don't mistake my longing for simpler times that I want my dream career just handed to me. As Josephine March narrates in the movie version of Little Women, "Necessity is indeed the mother of invention." I'm not afraid to make a new path for my own success, but I fear that it will not pay off.

I am finding professors within my colleges' English department to critique my poetry books. Once all the poetry that needs work is rewritten, I will try to have it published through a First Book Competition and on Amazon.

I'm still on the lookout for a way to have my stories critiqued. Then once they are rewritten, I want to find a (or preferably more than one) publication that publishes the stories I like to write so I can get a name for myself in the literary world.

I never anticipated that I'd want to add journalism, playwriting/producing, and editor/publisher to my writing resume as well, but I do.

I'm happy to say that I have so many clips out there that I needed a better tracking system for them. Still no substantial or paying success, but I'm published nonetheless. My love of Shakespeare's plays and going to the theatre regularly has inspired me to learn more about playwriting in general. There are also local opportunities for newbie playwrights to produce their works. And of course, I still hope to get my magazine off the ground someday. Nothing would please me more than to offer other writers like me a platform for success.

Honestly, the only things that have stopped me from being the writer I want to be are fear, assistance, time, and money.

Fear that no one will care about my stories and thoughts and that they'll just take up space on shelves. I need assistance putting my magazine together having my work critiqued for publication. Each moment in time that passes is a time I could've been published. Putting aside time is hard when I work full time, go to school full time, and have family, friends, and other hobbies that demand my attention as well. And of course I need money to pay for assistance, to pay to make my magazine a legal business entity, to pay for the supplies needed to create in the first place.

I think if our young can be thoroughly prepared for the realties and hardships of making their dreams come true, then society wouldn't have to wonder where are the doctors, lawyers, firefighters, police, teachers, and writers.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Why Getting Away From Where You Grew Up Is Important

College is the perfect time to get away from home and go out into the real world.
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As you get older, life sometimes makes it hard for you to take control and go to the places you've only dreamed of. There's always a work meeting, ballet recital, or something to hold you back from taking that trip planned four summers ago. College is the perfect time to get away from home and go out into the real world.

It's important to get away from everything you know at one point in your life. There is a whole world full of risk, chance, and experience. The security you have in your hometown can be traded in for adventure and change. There's a time to try something new, learn something that blows your mind, or go somewhere that takes your breath away. That time is now, to feel like you are actually doing something worthwhile with your life.

It is important to get away from where you have grown up for some of your life. You need to grow on your own, without anyone there to tell you you're wrong or out of line being a certain way. The transition from high school to college is the gift of independence. You choose who you get to be without anyone holding your past against you. It's a do-over, a second chance after the mistakes and regrets you lived through in high school. Yet, being away from home has its drawbacks as you lose familiar faces, a steady schedule, and many creature comforts. But, all of these can be found in a new place with time. Leaving the place you grew up gives you another chance to grow again, without boundaries. Travel whenever you get an opportunity because it may not come again. Test your limits while living your actual dreams. Go out and explore the world—you're only here once and don't have time to take it for granted. Leaving everything you know sounds scary, but there are great memories to be made out there.

Whether this new place for you is two hours from home, or 20, it's different, it's exciting and it's change. It is important to get away from where you grew up and learn from the adventures you embark on. It is the best way to find yourself and who you want to be. It's what you'll remember when you look back on everything you've done.

Cover Image Credit: Madison Burns

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For Camille, With Love

To my godmother, my second mom, my rooted confidence, my support

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First grade, March. It was my first birthday without my mom. You through a huge party for me, a sleepover with friends from school. It included dress up games and making pizza and Disney trivia. You, along with help from my grandma, threw me the best birthday party a 7-year-old could possibly want.

During elementary school, I carpooled with you and a few of the neighborhood kids. I was always the last one to be dropped off, sometimes you would sneak a donut for me. Living next door to you was a blessing. You helped me with everything. In second grade, you helped me rehearse lines for history day so I could get extra credit. In 4th grade, you helped me build my California mission.

You and your sister came out to my 6th grade "graduation". You bought me balloons and made me feel as if moving onto middle school was the coolest thing in the entire world.

While you moved away from next door, you were a constant in my life. Going to Ruby's Diner for my birthday, seeing movies at the Irvine Spectrum and just hanging out, I saw you all the time. During these times, you told me about all of the silly things you did with my mom and dad, how my mom was your best friend. I couldn't have had a greater godmother.

In middle school, you pushed me to do my best and to enroll in honors. You helped me through puberty and the awkward stages of being a woman.

Every single time I saw you, it would light up my entire day, my week. You were more than my godmother, you were my second mom. You understood things that my grandma didn't.

When you married John, you included me in your wedding. I still have that picture of you, Jessica, Aaron and myself on my wall at college. I was so happy for you.

Freshmen year of high school, you told me to do my best. I did my best because of you. When my grandma passed away that year, your shoulder was the one I wanted to cry on.

You were there when I needed to escape home. You understood me when I thought no one would. You helped me learn to drive, letting me drive all the way from San Clemente to Orange.

When I was applying to colleges, you encouraged me to spread my wings and fly. You told me I should explore, get out of California. I wanted to study in London, you told me to do it. That's why, when I study abroad this Spring in London, I will do it for you.

When I had gotten into UWT, you told me to go there. I did and here I am, succeeding and living my best in Tacoma. I do it for you, because of you.

When I graduated high school and I was able to deliver a speech during our baccalaureate, you cheered me on. You recorded it for me, so I could show people who weren't able to make it to the ceremony. You were one of the few people able to come to my actual graduation. You helped me celebrate the accomplishments and awards from my hard work.

When your cancer came back, I was so worried. I was afraid for you, I was afraid of what I would do without the support you had always given me. When I was in Rome, I went to the Vatican and had gotten a Cross with a purple gem in the middle blessed by the Pope to help you with your treatments. It was something from me and a little bit of my mom in the necklace, the gem.

Now, sitting so far from you away at college just like you wanted me to. I miss you. I wish I was there to say goodbye.

I'll travel the world for you, write lots of stories and books for you, I will live life to the fullest for you.

You are another angel taken too early in life. Please say hello to my parents and grandma in Heaven for me.

Lots of love,

Haiden

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