If I have learned anything in my time at college, it is that God gives friendship, and it is worth waiting for and working at. For me, this doesn’t mean five or ten people to juggle around casually. That's too much. I just want a couple deep relationships—ones that I have invested my time and effort into consistently and don’t plan on stopping. And even more so, I have always wanted a best friend; one person that is always there for me and wants to do life with me, but for the longest time, I lost hope in finding that.

At the beginning of my junior year, when I transferred to a 4-year school, I had no faith in friendships. I had close friends in high school from classes and sports, but the relationships were mostly awkward and unfulfilling. I was discouraged by people who were close on some days and distant the next, or those I knew I should avoid because they were poor influences. Community college wasn’t much different. I loved the independent schedule, but I lived at home and felt like I was living on an island with no one nearby. When I did make friends, it just didn’t feel right or they didn't last. I wonder, was there something wrong with me? And if not, do those sister-like best friends only happen to a lucky few? All I knew is that I was not one of them and I didn't know what I was doing wrong.

I remember praying, in frustration, that God would bring me a Christian friend. Literally just one. To my surprise, He answered me almost instantly. I made two friends within the next six months that were incredible, but while I am incredibly thankful for them, they added to my list of good-friends-that-I-never-see-or-talk-to. They moved and I left for college. While I believe every relationship has a purpose, I wanted a friend that I could touch and see and hug when I needed it, not simply a voice over the telephone.

Following this, I felt alone, again, and I thought I was doomed to ever find a friend that was right for me. I left for college and was terrified of being in a place where I knew almost no one. A few weeks into school, though, I met a girl that quickly became the best friend I’ve always wanted. I was insecure about it at first. I’m not outgoing and I’m also not confident with relationships. What should we talk about? Will she want to hang out with me? Do I annoy her or does she even want to be friends with me? I don’t know if I’m alone in that, but one thing led to the next, and soon we were doing everything together: talking about guys, going to each others houses, twinning on Halloween, and all the girly stuff. And I loved it. It felt right, like what I imagined real friendship to look like—not someone who bails on you when it’s inconvenient or talks to you when it’s easy, but the person who goes through everything with you, who pushes you to be better and tells you when you’re wrong (in a loving way), who you turn around and they’re probably about to play a prank on you—because that’s what best friends do…right?

That was last year. But then the school year ended and this year came along. While I want to say it’s been the dream continued, it hasn’t. It’s been hard. We’re both incredibly busy and always racing in different directions. Sometimes it’s days or a week between seeing each other. And then there’s my failures, too. I don’t always break up my time like I should. I’m selfish and lazy and don’t make the time to see her. Sometimes I just make dumb mistakes and screw things up. At times earlier on, I didn’t even know if we were still best friends, and it made me want to cry. Why would God take away something that had been so good?

But then I realized that He hadn’t. He was teaching me what it takes to really make a relationship work. It wasn’t supposed to be easy. It was supposed to make me work and push me to really show Christ-like love. We began texting more, intentionally making time to see each other, and I finally realized that while our relationship had changed physically, it really hadn’t change at all. She never gave up on me, and I never gave up on her.

I wish that our lives didn’t change so drastically, but that’s just a part of life. And although many things will change, a good friend (or a couple) is one thing that is worth the labor, to keep them in your life. While I’m not the greatest at it, I know that God placed certain people in my life for a special purpose, and they are gifts I will always treasure.