I cannot remember how many times I have said the following, “My “#1 strength” is empathy, but it feels more like my #1 weakness. It doesn’t feel beautiful; it feels broken.”
Sometimes, this is exactly what empathy feels like. It feels like a burden rather than a blessing. It just feels totally and completely overwhelming. It feels like everywhere you turn something bad is happening and with each glance, with each new tragedy, a knife is buried further and further into your chest. People you’ve never met are being mistreated and you feel as if it were your best friend. You see a picture of a child in a developing country drinking dirty water and suddenly find yourself ugly-crying over every unjust thing since the beginning of time. Oh, you don’t? Okay, maybe that last one is just me.
Here’s the thing I’ve learned over the past few months about empathy:
It really is a strength; however, just because we count something as a strength, doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy all of the time. Even our greatest talents need cultivating and bring hardships. Writers experience “writers’ block.” NFL athletes experience bad seasons. Artists are burdened by their creativity and ability to feel so deeply. Those things don’t take away from the gift, but add to it. They remind us that we’re human and things are going to be imperfect, but still beautiful.
I’ve always been a firm believer that while God knows us, so, unfortunately, does Satan. He knows how to get to us, tempt us, make us stumble. He knows how to make us feel defeated and weak. For the deeply empathic people, it’s easy: give us so much to be empathetic toward that it becomes overwhelming and painful. Our greatest asset then becomes something to resent and detest. It becomes something we ask God to take away from us, though He has given it to us to further His kingdom. It becomes a burden which hinders itself. We become so wrapped up in feeling overwhelmed that we forget about the people for which we were brokenhearted. It makes sense that Satan would want to twist this. The very idea of being too empathetic takes away our ability to be empathetic at all.
Being compassionate and empathetic is not a weakness. It’s simply a strength that Satan can use against us, if we let him, just as every other strength.
It’s a strength that allows us to carry the burdens of others. It allows us to love unconditionally. It allows us to assist others in a unique way.
A wise friend of mine told me:
“Trust me when I say that your empathy is an absolute strength. I know it’s a heavy burden for you to carry, but it lifts the loads of all the people around you. Not just anyone can do that for people. Just don’t forget to have some empathy for yourself from time to time.”
Not everyone has empathy as their greatest strength and that’s a good thing. If everyone were like me, we would sit together watching the news while sobbing 24/7 and that would be totally ineffective. We all have different strengths which is an incredible testament to God’s great provision and creativity. That being said, we are called to embrace and cultivate the gifts he HAS given us. So to my fellow empathic people, embrace it. Love deeply and fiercely. Be burdened over the girl in a foreign country drinking unclean water. Cry over the man in a different city who was gunned down. Let your compassion be overwhelming. Let your love for those around you and your desire to help the hurting consume you.
Why? Because that is how Christ loved. His love is one without limits. It is one overflowing with compassion and empathy. He is our example. He wept. He hurt. He felt the sting of the world.
Don’t let your compassion be a burden, but let it continue to grow and be a blessing to those around you. Love like Christ loves us.
