15. If you're having ice cream for dessert, you bet I want a lick. Or, you know, like split it 70/30 with me. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

21 Things You Know If Your Dog Is Basically A Hooman

You might be low key, but he sure as hell needs to be primped and prepped with a bowtie.

210
21 Things You Know If Your Dog Is Basically A Hooman

In This Article:

Oh, and he has an adorable attitude too.

1. Perfect hair is a must. Before a morning walk, bed head must be fixed.

2. If you’re going for more than a bathroom walk, a bowtie or other accessory is vital.

3. Excuse me, it's raining, I require a rain jacket and rain boots.

4. I know I peed on my front legs, but ummm they have to be cleaned.

5. Humidity makes my ears poofy, and I are not okay with it.

6. Speaking of ears, if I have long ears, they better not be flipped.

7. While I enjoy being primped and prepped, and bath time is lovely, I do not enjoy actually being wet.

8. The world is exciting. Very exciting.

9. Human food is required, but only to accompany puppy food.

10. Everyone in the family takes a probiotic, therefore, I do as well.

11. Speaking of human food, I eat from the table. But don't go thinking I get fed with fingers. Nope, I eat off the fork. Just like a real HOOMAN.

12. Must sleep in my own bed, and it's MY bed.

13. I can tell that you have a cut on your foot, or that you are sad, so I will lick your physical and emotional wounds.

14. Must be included in all family activities. Especially the family portraits.

15. If you're having ice cream for dessert, you bet I want a lick. Or, you know, like split it 70/30 with me.

16. When dinner is called, I'm the first one at the table. I might as well have a high chair there.

17. While poofy ears are NOT okay, at least when its from humidity, a floofy tail is always appreciated.

18. I pick out a new bowtie every morning, and makes sure everyone sees it.

19. Don't you dare walk past me in the street without acknowledging me.

20. I actually gets excited about new outfits. And forget about walking into Petco without a new toy or sweater.

21. Will only go to bed after a nap with everyone on the couch after dinner. I must be carried to bed like a baby, tucked in with my blanket, and told that you love me.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

The Unwritten Rules Of "Talking"

What is "talking?" How does one "talk?"

7214
girl holding phone
NYCPRGIRLS

Now that it seems “talking” is the new way to date, and will stay that way until another idiotic term is used to describe the people who can’t settle down and just date someone, I feel as if it’s time to go over the unwritten rules of “talking.”

Rule 1. Having feeling without feeling.

Keep Reading...Show less
The Stages of Having FOMO in College
iamthatgirl.com

Are you one of those people that gets super upset when you miss out on anything? Well, you may have FOMO, or fear of missing out. In college it’s not hard to experience FOMO every once in a while. You just love doing everything and anything, so hen you have to miss out on something it's the worst possible thing in your mind. Whether you’re sick, have to work, or have so much work to do you could cry – FOMO will hit you hard in college.

Keep Reading...Show less
Vivien Leigh
Revelist

I've lived a whole 21 years with an RBF (Resting Bitch Face), so naturally, I go through most of these struggles on a daily basis.

And before you ask, yes I'm fine. No, I'm not mad. This is just my face, so take it or leave it! To those of you who have been #blessed with an RBF, you'll probably relate to these more than you'd like to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Iconic Duos: Timeless Legends

From Luke and Leia to Beyonce's twins...

774925
Luke and Leia from Star Wars, a iconic duo
Lucasfilm

“Name a more iconic duo... I'll wait." OK, well, if you insist. In no particular order, here's a list of 100 iconic duos that seem to be timeless.

SEE MORE: This Is The ICONIC Disney Sidekick You Are To Your BFF, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

A Candid Letter to My Best Friends Ex

Because this is the real form of torture you deserve.

2123
middle finger
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

What's up Asshat,

I've composed a list of things that I wish upon you, and they're harsh and cruel. These things are things that I wouldn't wish upon my worst of enemies, not even that Starbuck's barista who always screws up my order, not even him. You fall into a whole other category of hate. You surpass Starbucks barista. Congratulations, I'm actually a pretty nice person, making you worthy of every single bit of torture I wish upon you. What are these things I wish upon you you might ask?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments