I am about to describe a situation I am sure is familiar to many of you.
Picture this: you're walking along the quad, down the hallway, anywhere really, and from a distance off you can see someone you know. They see you, too. They see you, and you know they see you, and they know you know they see you... so what next? I'll tell you what next. Regardless of how well you know the person, how far away you are from each other, or any other variable that may be at play, what will ensue shortly will go down as the most awkward moment of your day.
Scenario one: you guys are super duper besties till the end, and to fill the gap of time before your intersection, you can play off the awkwardness, because you're super duper besties till the end, and things like this don't phase you. Maybe you wave over-theatrically for a really long time, because it's cool and funny, and your bestie will do the same, because you are both silently acknowledging the void that needs to be filled. Then as you finally pass you can laugh at each other and hop along your merry way. This is, of course, the best possible scenario.
Scenario two: approaching you is a friend, though not a super duper bestie. Maybe he lived in your hallway freshman year and always supplied the microwave popcorn. Maybe she was your partner in class all last semester and you've not seen each other since but would still consider her a person to grab lunch with. Any way, there is a gap that now needs to be filled. So what next?
If you have your phone out, maybe you look at your lock screen like you're reading a really interesting article or checking an important email, but really you're just thinking, my dog is so freaking cute on this here lock screen. And you can look and look at your phone until you're just about to pass the person, and then you go, "hi there" or "oh hey" or "hey, what's up," like I totally just noticed you were walking towards me, and it's so awesome you just happened to pass by as I looked up from this very important email I was reading. And they say hi back and it's all cool. Well played.
Or maybe you go about it like this: oh wow that tree that I pass every day is all of a sudden especially beautiful and really interesting to me, and yes I am totally the person who walks around admiring the sky and the leaves on every short walk to class, and OH HEY HOW ARE YOU I totally just noticed you walking towards me and it's so awesome you passed by right as I was finishing admiring the striations of this here rock! Once again, if you can pull this off, well done. You have successfully passed as an introspective nature-lover for the time necessary.
But sometimes, scenario two doesn't work out as well. Maybe you aren't suave enough to pull of either of the two strategies above. Maybe you awkwardly smile at this person while he/she is approaching, shoot some quick glances down at your feet to break it up, and then you say hi, but WAY to early. Like, there are still several yards between you two once you've said hi, but you've done your duty as a civilized friend, and all that's left to be done is soak in the awkwardness. What follows is a whole lot of mutual agreement that THIS IS REALLY AWKWARD. Those few yards then feel like trudging through purgatory. How come I didn't wait two more seconds? Idiot, you think. You think correctly. It truly sucks.
Sometimes scenario two will bring about a different sort of problem. It goes like this: walking, walking, walking, la dee da, rocking the strategies above, and then you realize this friend is a conversationalist.
"Hey there!" you say.
"Hey how are you?! How was the summer? Liking your classes? Do you have any pets and how old are they? Can you recite the Preamble to the Constitution?" And so on. These are the times when your buddy wants to try and have a full-fledged discussion as you are both walking in different directions and getting further and further away. Sorry bro, not gonna happen. So you try to answer one or two questions like "I'm good. Summer was good." Maybe you add a little "good to see ya" to let him know that that is all you have for now. Mission accomplished.
Third and final scenario: you definitely know this person and this person's name, but your not sure if they know you. Maybe you sat next to them in a class you've only had four times, or met quickly at a party when they were really drunk and you were not. Either way, this is usually how it plays out:
"Hey," you say. Silence. She looks past you at a person she actually knows and cares about, and you are left lonely and embarrassed at the lack of reciprocation. Well, guess I just have a better memory or am an overall nicer person than that girl was, you think to calm yourself. But we all know that really, that was an epic fail. The person behind you knows the feeling and is laughing internally at your obvious epic fail. The squirrels in the tree you just falsely admired are snickering at your epic fail. Epic fail.
But the moment passes. And with scenario three there comes the comfort that you will never have to try with that person again, because they obviously don't have an inkling who you are, and the more people like that, the fewer awkward quasi-conversations, the better.
You enter the building, turn into the classroom, and think, glad that's over with. "Until next time," replies your extreme internal discomfort.
