When Cockiness Curbs Confidence
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When Cockiness Curbs Confidence

How do you navigate the path between being confident in yourself and being egotistical?

When Cockiness Curbs Confidence

You would be hard pressed to find a person who challenges the value of humility- it is a shared aspect among some of the worlds most widely beloved figures. Humility spurs kindness, sacrifice, and forms leaders. But, in my experience, humility can also hinder growth.

Growing up in the Christian church I was taught the value in keeping the needs of other before your own. No, I was not brow beat with guilt, or threatened with eternal damnation. I am actually very thankful to be raised in the church because without it I think I wouldn't be the compassionate person I am today*. I was simply shown (not told, but shown) that caring for your fellow man is the right thing to do. (*While Christianity helped form my sense of compassion, it is not a trait exclusive to the body of the church. I fully believe that any person is capable of possessing any trait due to their life experiences, regardless of religion.)

Since I graduated from school, I have entered the work force and for the first time in my life, have needed to actually sell/market myself. In school you make demonstrate competence through your attitude and grades. And I became very comfortable in that little bubble of a world. I am now needing to say, "I am very good at what I do, and this is why you want to hire/promote me." And boy, I struggle with that. Everytime I practice saying it, I feel like the most conceited person in the world.

Because who am I really? I am not a special snowflake. I am not delusional enough to think that I am the first person to ever exist on this planet who looks like I do, feels like I do, or has the same talents. So why do I deserve anything?

I have been doing much reflection and reading and I came across this passage from C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

Dear readers, I am still not sure how to be comfortable with being confident. I am not sure how or when the line between confidence and cockiness blurred for me. But what I do know, is that I am determined enough to not give up on myself. And neither should you.

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