When Best Friends Stay In The Past

When Best Friends Stay In The Past

Friendships can either save you or hurt you.

It started in fifth or perhaps sixth grade when I already lost my first best friend, who was also my next door neighbor. I honestly can't tell you exactly how it happened or why we even stopped being friends. I remember we would get in arguments on AIM and email about petty things and eventually we just met different people and moved on from each other. I wish I knew why or how we ended because I still wish we were friends.

Then, in the beginning of 7th grade, I got bullied by the people I thought were not only my friends but my best friends. I met them in 6th grade and we were inseparable. I did everything with 'these' friends. One day I was on MySpace and I saw my best friend was talking crap about me to the guy I had a crush on. Of course, I confronted her. What she did next I'll never forget. From that point on, she rallied all of our friends together and started to bully me. They were cropping me out of pictures, harassing me on myspace, being rude to me at school, the list goes on. And it hurt and of course I had to see them every day because they were in my core class.

I had to hide how I felt every day at school and it sucked. I had to remake new friends because all the people I thought were my friends dumped me. I guess they weren't true friends. I don't want to mention names because it's ancient history now, but from that point on I became different. From just those experiences I built a wall whenever I met new friends.

When I think back from 7th to 11th grade, I had different, new friends every year. Some stayed in my life throughout the years and others left as quickly as they came. I've lost a lot of friends, but want to point out the main ones that I think are important and made me who I am now.

Starting from 11th grade to 12th grade, I began to make a circle of friends who I trusted. There were two main people, and we hung out so much that we became known as "the three amigos." We hung out almost every day, whether it be after school or on the weekends. We would workout with each other, go to parties, go on drives, eat together, have sleepovers, talk about boys, I mean everything you would talk to your best friend about, and that's what they were my best friends.

And then one day all of a sudden I woke up and they weren't there anymore. We all went off to college and of course, we still talked freshmen year and saw each other on our breaks, but then eventually everyone started doing their own thing. I was so up my boyfriend's ass at the time and whenever my two friends asked to hang out I always declined because of him. Eventually, one of them had enough and she drifted away from me, which really hurt. I understood why because I stopped hanging out with her because I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I couldn't hang out with my friends and she didn't understand that at the time and I couldn't either. I thought what I was doing was normal, but I learned otherwise over time. And the other friend, she was having a blast at college and drifted away from the both of us.

I think I'm the only one now that tried to keep in touch. It hurts because I was so close to them and I have a hard time understanding how they could just leave me that fast. I still try to reach out, but a part of me feels like they don't want to be friends with me anymore. They don't reach out or contact me at all.

So that's why I'm done trying to be friends with anyone. From my own experiences, I've learned the hard way. I don't feel like I can trust anyone because they leave so fast. I just don't want to become vulnerable again and then they leave. It just hurts so much. So I tend to push myself away from people that I feel could become my friend.

Cover Image Credit: PunjabiGraphics.com

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup

Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.


We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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