When you are a non-science major at a pharmacy and engineering school things can get a little weird. As a person who is friends with predominantly pharmacy majors I am forced to deal with their science-loving shenanigans pretty often. This following list is dedicated to all those pharmacy majors I have had to put up with and I have grown to love over the past couple of semesters.
The Whine and Dine
Have you ever eaten dinner with a bunch of pharmacy majors? Ten out of ten would recommend..... to your worst enemy or those you wish psychological harm on to. Pharmacy majors spend a lot of their time studying, which makes sense because they are in an accelerated academic program, so dinner time becomes their time to distress. They'll get their food, sit down at your table, take one bite which is followed by a deep intake of air and a slump of their shoulders, and then all hell breaks lose. A rant that would but anyone else to shame will bellow from their lips like an unstoppable tide of never ending rhetoric. "Oh my God I have so much studying to do", "Anatomy is just so hard but, I guess you wouldn't understand", "I can't believe I have to memorize all these drugs", and so on and so on and so on. Now this effect is multiplied tenfold when you are with multiple pharmacy majors because they'll try to one-up each other. It's like this weird game of one ups man ship where they are trying to prove that their life sucks more than the other pharmacy student's life. In the end they both lose though because they're both still pharmacy majors.
"I'm a Doctor"
The "I'm a Doctor" effect is when a second or third-year pharmacy major forgets they have three more years of school until they become an actual doctor. These individuals, while rare, will walk around like peacocks with stethoscopes and will diagnose anything and everything that walks. They will hear a cough and instantly say "clearly she has a case of chickenpox and needs to take 5 metric tons of Benadryl stat!" which is something even the common person knows to be incorrect. They mean well and I bet one day they will be great doctors but until then let's save the doctoring for real licensed professionals.
Finals Week Frenzy
As finals week encroaches you will notice a couple of things. First, the library will be packed and rooms will be booked from sun up till sun down. Those who were smart and reserved private study rooms days in advance will be the envy of their fellow students. Secondly, every caffeinated drink in White Bear will be out of stock. Now what does this have to do with pharmacy majors you ask? Well its simple really, caffeinated and exhausted pharmacy majors + rigorous and often ridiculously challenging finals x a desperate need to pass classes = something I call the pharmacy frenzy. Your once docile and calm pharmacy friends turn into crazy caffeine driven animals whose only goal is to absorb as much anatomy information as possible before their exam. They do not care about you, they only care about finals. The best thing you can do as an arts and sciences major is bring the food and cheer them on from a safe distance. Hell holds no wrath like that of a pharmacy major during finals week.
Technical Talk
"Well clearly your fenglehopper bone is attached to your posthumorus gland which produces your ribosomes and if that's broken you'll need to inject 30 milligrams of riboglucose adderocide." When pharmacy majors talk pharmacy they might as well be speaking a different language. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU WHEN YOU TALK LIKE THAT!
Being an arts and sciences major at a pharmacy school is always interesting and it can sometimes be difficult. But I could never have asked for a more motivated, dedicated, loyal, and intelligent friend group. Although they drive me crazy I'm glad I chose to be the major minority at a pharmacy college.
