“What is your major?”
“What do you want to do with your life?”
“What are you leaning towards?”
“What job do you want?”

I have no idea. I really don’t, not even the slightest clue. People like parents and professors are always pressuring me to answer this question. Is it really so bad that I have no idea what I want to do with my life at 18 years old? There are so many options and so many ways that I could make the wrong decision. It’s too much pressure for me to be so young and have to determine something that will have such a huge consequence on my life.

The worst time of the year is coming up; the holiday season. If you are a person in college, you understand what I mean by this. Family members hounding you about what your major is, what you want to do with your life, and what your planning on doing in your college career to help you in your future. News flash: I can’t answer these questions, so please do not ask me them. It’s so frustrating that I am expected to have an idea or a direction for my career path. It’s so frustrating that I am constantly asked about it. But most of all, it’s so frustrating not having an answer.

Since I do not know what I want to do, I am told that I should explore my options by taking classes in all these different fields. However, I feel like this is a waste of my time. While other students are getting into their major required classes, I am taking Psychology and Intro to Theatre. While these courses are thrilling for some, I can tell after a few classes that I am not into them. I am then forced to continue out the course for the rest of the semester thereby wasting my time. I feel as if I am falling behind already and its only my first semester in college because all of these courses that I am taking do not spark any interest in me. I cannot waste time taking classes in every single subject in every single field until I find the right one. Do you know how long that would take?

Advisors tell me that not knowing what I want to do is just as helpful as knowing what I want to do. But what if the list of things that I don’t want to do is growing everyday while my possibilities list is shrinking? What if when I finally pick a major, it is not offered at my current university. I will have then invested so much into this school to just get up and transfer all because I did not know what I wanted to major in the first day of freshman year. What if in two months I decide I want to be an interior designer? UNH doesn’t offer it. Yet again, I would feel like I have wasted such a big chunk of time. Valuable time where I have had to get acclimated to one college just to be ripped away from it and start all over again.

Not only is choosing a major proving to be difficult, but choosing a major that gets my parents approval is even more complicated. I know it’s not about them, but they are always trying to force fed their dreams and ideas onto me. Neither of my parents went to college, so they understand the struggle of trying to make a life without a degree. Since they understand the struggle so well, they tell me that I should be something in the medical field or in engineering because it makes money. Even though money is a huge factor in everyone’s lives, I am not someone that is capable of pursuing a job in the medical or engineering field. I am not someone that can be happy with being a doctor, pharmacist or engineer. Although its appreciated, I cannot do what my parents think is best for me...I have to do something that I love.

So, as of now I have no idea where I am headed. I don’t have a major. I don’t have a direction. And I really don’t know what I want. But, that’s okay. I am only 18 years old and I have a lifetime to figure it out.