As a girl from a third world and conservative country, I grew up knowing my boundaries well. I was well aware that I shouldn’t have a boyfriend, not one that my family knows of at least. I was taught that the maximum interaction with a guy should be in the limits of schoolwork, teamwork or social gatherings (and by social, I don’t mean parties, I mean a friends’ hangout). To me, that was never a problem. I went to an all-girls catholic school so the opposite gender wasn’t existent for me. They teach us that guys and girls should never hug, kiss or touch casually even if they are friends; more than a handshake, the girl is considered a slut! Needless to say, we were taught from a very young age that sex is a sin and a taboo. If girls talk about sex, they are sluts and their parents should be ashamed of them.
And if they have premarital sex, their parents have every right to beat them to death, physical death or moral death. Therefore, I knew my rules well even if I chose not to abide by all of them. Apparently, these were only the rules on the surface. The Arab society has other under the surface rules that I wasn’t aware of, and when I questioned them and said that I object to these backward, oppressing rules, I was labeled as shameless, obnoxious and now “Americanized”!
Many people in the Arab world believe that virginity is destined to girls only, not for boys. According to them, boys are poor creatures who find it hard to control themselves and need to prove their manhood to their peers through sex (except the religious ones which aren’t few).
In a number of Arab countries, such as the rural parts of Egypt, Yemen, and some of the Gulf States, the practice of girls' circumcision is a common procedure that people not only do, but defend, as well.
In the Arab world, an outspoken, vocal woman is looked down upon. Therefore, women tend to nurture their ignorance and simple-mindedness so that the society looks at them as being virtuous. Parents also encourage their daughters to be naïve and simple-minded, because a “blind pussy cat” is the kind of girl who would make the most suitable wife, according to Arab men.
Before going out to the streets, a girl should think a million times about what she’s wearing. No shorts, no skirts, no dresses, no leggings, no tank tops, no tight pants, etc. are all dress codes the society imposes on girls, except when they go to the beach the society will be kind and allow them to wear shorts!
Growing up in Cairo, I wasn't allowed to ride a bike except when I went to a coastal city where tourists are because tourists ride bikes!! I can’t laugh loudly or else I will be looked at as a slut (which happens all the time). I can’t run in the morning in the street which is why running campaigns like “Cairo Runners” started, to give women a safe space to run with a big group of men and women. Most Arab girls can’t travel alone or with their friends until they get married (people still think that my parents are crazy).
A married woman can’t get a divorce because the whole society will shun her, so she’d better bear all the hardships of life and be obedient to her husband. An Arab girl had better get married by the time she’s 25-27 (if not before) or else people will start looking down on her and wonder what’s wrong with her. Does she have a disease? Is she that ugly? This explains why my mom is already asking me if I found “The One” because my time is coming soon so I’d better find him sooner than later. This is why, according to society, a smart Arab woman is the one who graduates with a degree and a husband. Preferably, a rich husband!
We are the side of the globe that Americans know nothing about. We are the women who fight back in every single moment of our existence. We are the women who leave our father’s house, go right to a husband’s house then to the grave. I may be one of the few lucky ones who could get a little bit of space in between, but how many of us will get lucky? To what extent am I taking advantage of this space and to what extent does my family approve of it?
No matter how much we, Arab girls, claim to be liberal and open-minded, we are still haunted by the obligation to hold our families’ honor and keep them proud in their own way and according to their priorities!
We are the other side of the globe that Americans need to know about. This is why I’ll leave the links below for you to explore (they vary in their ways and missions, but they all have one goal: giving Arab women the space to breathe). These are links of some of the campaigns in the Arab countries to emancipate women. While you’re checking them, remember to count your blessings, because as simple as they may seem, they are a dream for others…
http://egyptianstreets.com/2015/06/05/egyptian-girls-fight-taboos-through-music/
http://www.clarionproject.org/understanding-islamism/muslim-womens-rights-activists
http://feminainvicta.com/2012/10/09/facebook-campaign-for-arab-womens-rights-goes-global/
