I’m usually not too vocal about these things. I watch and listen and maybe throw in a word or two, if I have one, but that’s at most. What I’ve been seeing, and hearing all week is baffling. This week has gone from funny posts and happy updates on the summer to seemingly endless reports of death, violence, and much anger on both sides. It’s to the point where I half expect to wake up tomorrow, and see another tragedy inflict more pain on the lives of our everyday people. It’s emotionally draining.

I have never seen this before, not in my lifetime at least, where I see the world go mad right in front of my eyes. It makes me sad. I can’t even imagine how painful it must be for those who have been directly affected, and lost people they’ve loved dearly. To them, they have my deepest condolences as well as reside in my thoughts and prayers. Sorry if I keep repeating this, but this is a lot. This is too much. Too much in so little time too. It’s very scary, and I am terrified. As said before, I have never really verbalized my thoughts on the Black Lives Matter movement, I’ve never protested, nor been really associated with it. Not to say I didn’t support it, it’s that I didn’t have a draw to it. I didn’t think I knew enough or had a good enough idea of what was going on to include myself. I just didn’t know what to say.

I am an African American woman, my father has sat me down and had the talk with me about how to deal with the police. I remember him saying, “If you get pulled over turn on the inside car light (if it’s night time), get out your license and registration so it’s already ready, and have one hand on the wheel. Stay still, and if you’re going to move always let the officer know what you’re doing. Whatever the police officer asks you to do, just do it. Don’t ask why, don’t argue, JUST DO IT.” Just comply, is what I took from that, and I completely agreed. I didn’t see why I wouldn’t. If you just comply, you get to go home at the end of the day, right? However, what threw me was the death of Philandro Castile. He did everything he was asked of, he put his hands up, he let the police officer know he was lawfully armed, and complied when asked for his driver’s license but got shot anyway. He complied with the officers instructions and was shot for compliance. I was taught to just comply, but what’s the next step when compliance isn’t enough?

As for the Dallas shootings, that was a heart wrencher to wake up to. I was shocked and disappointed. Violence combatted with violence only makes things worse. I’m pretty sure that the goal is to stop unjust afflictions, not add to it. If anything it makes matters worse, it divides us even more. This isn’t a war, but if it gets any worse it might turn into one. I believe in and support the Black Lives Matter movement, and think it’s great that we’re out here speaking up for what we believe in. Silence won’t make a change, doing something about it will. I hope the eventual outcome of all this is a more peaceful, united nation. Where no one’s afraid of dying by the hands those who are sworn to protect us, and no one feels initially threatened based on the pigment of skin. We must stop the violence, and the painful suffering that follows. We must do better.