Without a doubt, being in a relationship means losing a part of your freedom and independence. That's not an issue you can debate or argue about. Even if you're relationship is one that's "just casual" or "nothing serious", you're still choosing to give up a small piece of your individuality that you would still have if you were single. Because once you choose to share your life with someone, it's no longer just your life. It's theirs, too.

To be clear, I'm not saying that once you start dating someone you automatically make every decision in your lives together. Yes, you can still decide for yourself what you'll do this upcoming weekend or what you're going to wear to that party you're both going to. But the difference is now you have to start making those decisions with your partners feelings in mind.

There is a huge difference between what a person can and what a person should do when they are in a relationship. And in the end, it seems like the couples who learn the difference between these two things the quickest tend to be the happiest.

It is an unfortunately all too common belief that people in relationships cannot be friends with someone of the opposite sex if it is not the person they're dating. Personally, I would be the first person to disagree with that notion. However, I do believe there is a specific reason why this idea is pretty common. And it's not because they're boyfriend or girlfriend says they "aren't allowed" to be friends with those of the opposite sex. It's because those people are willingly choosing not to create problems in their relationships that don't need to be there.

I firmly believe that even when you are in a relationship, you should still be making your own personal decisions when it comes to who you're friends with or how you spend your time. But I also believe that doesn't mean you should just do whatever you want. This is what I mean when I say there is a huge difference between what a person can and should do in a relationship.

Can you be just platonic friends with your ex-boyfriend? Maybe you can! But should you be if you know it would make your current boyfriend uncomfortable? No, you shouldn't. And the most important part to that is that you shouldn't even want to! You shouldn't want to cause problems in your relationship. If you're with someone who you truly love and care about, then why would you purposefully do something that you know would hurt them? Would you ever want them to do something like that to you?

I know that this line isn't always clear. Sometimes our boyfriends or girlfriends really are overreacting about nothing. But most of the time, it's a better idea to play it safe rather than sorry.

Once you're in a relationship, the question you should be asking yourself isn't whether or not this is something you can or cannot do. Instead, it should be whether or not it is something you should do. And the best way to determine that oh so difficult question is just to ask yourself whether this will make your relationship better or worse. If it's at all going to hinder the happy state that you and your partner have going, then you need to decide if it's really worth it. So if being friends with your ex is worth causing problems in your current relationship, then by all means go for it! But if its not, then it seems to me that the answer is pretty easy to figure out.

But before anything else, I want to make something very clear. Losing this part of your independence and freedom is in no way a bad thing. It should actually be a very beautiful and emotionally healing part of your life. You should be comforted by the idea of sharing these decisions about how to live your life with the person you really care about. Is it sad to lose someone who use to be an important part of your life? Of course it is! The decision to let go of that friendship may have seemed clear, but the actual process will be anything by easy. But as I said before, you should be consoled by the fact that you have found someone even better for you to share your life with. Your happiness in your current relationship should always outweigh the sadness you feel for your past ones.

And if it's not, then maybe the real problem is that you're not ready for this relationship in the first place. And that's totally okay, too! There is no strict timeline to when you should be in a serious relationship and when you shouldn't. All that matters is that you find someone who is ready to take your feelings into consideration with as much time and thought as you would take theirs. When you're both on the same page is when a truly happy couple can be formed.