"Excuse me, waitress? Can I have another straw?"
First, my name is not "waitress," and no, your brat of a child cannot have another straw to throw on the floor for me to sweep up later.
I feel like anyone who has worked in a restaurant has heard these words before.
Ah yes, being a waiter/waitress. A job that tests a person's patience until it has reached its last little nerve, and someone is probably going to kill that nerve before your shift ends.
Let's take an inside peek at what waiters and waitresses have to deal with:
1. Why do you need 10 drinks for 4 people?
"May I please have a coke, a sweet tea and a water? Oh and lemon with all of them."
I am NOT kidding. Either this is a prime example of the health choices in the United States, or y'all are some thirsty $H**$.
Plus, I probably thought I would like you... before you ordered all those drinks.
2. Why are you telling me your life story?
Sometimes I feel more like a therapist than just a girl bringing your food.
3. Special Orders. Just... please don't. Please.
"Instead of having a regular BLT, can I get it with no mayo, add mustard, turkey bacon, and bread that was from Jesus feeding the thousands?"
IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE FOOD YOU ORDERED SO MUCH PLEASE COOK AT HOME. THANK YOU.
4. When customers send food back. That they ordered.
Sometimes I will admit that food needs to be sent back. I'm guilty of it, but in the right situations (I literally found a cockroach in my food one time). But right now I'm talking about the people who send food back when it is exactly. what. they. ordered. and. they. just. don't. like. it.
5. When you're hit on. Every. Single. Day.
I wouldn't date you just based off of the way you treat wait staff, I don't know you, and I don't want to be flirted with when I'm working (it's awkward, ok? There's kids here).
6. Your $1 tip is actually really insulting.
If you think that I am worth only a single dollar, then please do not come eat in a restaurant. If you can't afford to tip, don't eat at a restaurant.
FYI: I get paid like $2-3 an hour, if that. Tips are how I make a living. Hence, why you're taught to tip. Thanks.
7. When your coworker's shift is ending.
I can tell you, working alone with mean people is like fighting in a war with a spoon as your only weapon. And you're bored because there's no one to talk to about your shift. Or anyone to laugh about all the ridiculous things you have to deal with.
8. When it's 2 minutes until closing time and people come in so your soul dies.
I shouldn't even have to explain this, other than point out how inconsiderate you are.
9. And, finally, when you're done with side chores and it's time to go home.
FREEDOM. PURE. WONDERFUL. FREEDOM.
So there you have it folks. From one waitress to the other, this is what your waitress is thinking as told by Two Broke Girls.
All images are taken from giphy.com
