This is what your average Instagram posts say about you:
Food:
The food picture person is a huge foodie, and loves to either spend time cooking or spend time in line while waiting for someone to cook for them. You can guarantee that this person’s Insta name starts as their name, like "barbara101," and then changes to "foodie101." A foodie knows the best places to eat, so check their profile out for a weekend adventure, and if that information fails, go to Chipotle and enjoy a massive burrito (but add guacamole, not Ecoli).
Scenery:
This person travels everywhere and has an amazingly poetic/keen eye for the spiritual world of travel. They post really profound and deep photos of water (Get it? Like the OCEAN!). They’ve been everywhere on the planet and have paragraph-length captions of cool stories at each place they went to. These photos always leave you with questions; is couch-hopping really THAT reliable? How much money did you have before this travel experience? How much after? Have you ever spent a whole day in the bathroom after a meal you Instagrammed? You know, all THOSE questions.
Pets:
This person would rather hang out with their pet over any tall, dark, and handsome match they have on Tinder. They will also end up creating an additional Insta for their pet, and OBVIOUSLY the pet will have more followers then their personal account. These photos follow the pet from its cute baby years to its grown and trained years. Beware of liking that Insta from 75 weeks ago, because you will go far back into these precious pictures.
WCW/MCM:
This person either has the same WCW every week with some gushy post about their significant other, or it’s a different Abercrombie model every week. If it’s the three year weekly relationship picture, then you can guarantee all of their photos have that significant other in them as well. #relationshipsgoals… maybe? If it’s the latter, this person is also showing pictures of the clubs they attend and all the fish in the sea options they have. #singlelifegoals… again, maybe?
Friends/Family:
This person has more friends than foodie101 and they go home every weekend to cuddle with their awesome mommy! (#bestmomever!!!!!) These photos normally have a beach background, matching pajamas, some hot chocolate, a newborn baby, or their dog in costume. These photos will always be cute.
Cars:
This person is known for taking selfies with everything that they cannot afford. Lexus car (selfie), diamond ring (selfie), Kim Kardashian (selfie). HOLD UP! If you get the opportunity to take a selfie with Kim Kardashian, TAKE IT!
Mirror:
Mirror selfies are great if you are Miley Cyrus. HOWEVER, they are not great if you are a male with your shirt off (debatable, based on the recipients). These people love to show off their fashion sense and gym body. These pictures will sometimes have that lighted glare and sometimes be perfect, like Justin Bieber's, but he has a professional take them, so it's not fair.
Memes:
This person is hilarious, but come on, 12 posts in a day is a little excessive. This person’s posts become so overwhelmed with memes that you forget whose account it is and think that you are following TheFatJewish. Memes are great, although they keep me up at night until 3 a.m.
In the end, all posts are entertaining posts! Maybe?
