What Young Love Taught Me​

I was 14 when I got into my first serious relationship. My boyfriend and I clicked instantly, but we knew nothing about love and what it took to be in a serious relationship. We were young, underdeveloped and so naive. We grew up seeing unhealthy love in our households. We grew up with a lack of communication and expression of feelings in our household. We took on unhealthy habits and coping mechanisms. Subconsciously, we may have learned anger issues and manipulation. However, that didn't stop us from loving each other, unhealthy but love none the least. There would be arguments, due to lack of communication and misunderstanding. It was like being in hell with the person you love the most but not being able to escape. In 2018, we broke up and my world shattered. I felt like I lost a part of my soul, I lost my best friend, the love of my life and the person I saw myself marrying. However, that was the best thing that could've happened. It allowed me to grow as a person, to work on things about myself that needed development. It also taught me things like knowing when to be all over my partner but when to take a break and focus on myself. So many negative habits and patterns are glorified in "toxic" relationships that people don't know the difference between what is good and bad for a relationship. We emulate what we're taught even if it wasn't taught purposely. If we don't see healthy love, we continue those cycles in our own romantic relationships. Although I can't travel back in time. I don't regret the relationship that we had back then, I also don't regret our breakup. It taught me so many things about love, how I view myself, how I view relationships, and most importantly how I view myself. The best part about being in this relationship young is growing and seeing my partner grow. It teaches you taking into account the feelings of others, being selfless, and being empathetic. I can definitely attest to the hurt and pain of being in a serious relationship at 14. I couldn't understand why we were going through the things we did. I didn't understand why it was so hard for us. However, after almost 5 years, the reasoning became clear. It is up to my partner and me to break the generational curse of unhealthy relationships. It is up to us to create a happy, healthy, and loving home for our children and the generations after us. It is up to us to instill in our children what it is to love themselves before they can love another human being. It is up to us to break the cycle. The hurtful, painful, and detrimental cycle. In doing so we plant and nourish healthy flowers to blossom. "Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong."