"In 1st grade, I got in trouble for trying to head butt my friend's dad because he asked me how my day was."
"My friend took my Nintendo DS from my so I chased her into the closet and kicked her in the shin."
"I used to think if I really set my mind to it I would be able to grow wings and fly. I would jump off my couch for hours hoping someday it would happen if I tried hard enough."
"At my birthday party, we used to have a rule that once the first four girls fell asleep we would use them as the bases for kickball in the basement."
"I cut up a worm and my mom was like 'Oh, buddy, don't do that. That worm has a family." I replied with, "Well when I find them I will cut them up too.'"
"I got suspended for hitting a girl in the chest with a dodgeball. To this day she still doesn't have boobs and I am convinced it is because of me. From then on out I was only allowed to play dodgeball if I threw left-handed."
"I bit people a lot."
"I was running around in circles and ended up crashing into a sliding glass door."
"I used to play 'The Prince and the Witch' with my mom. I was the prince and I would beat up my mom."
"When I was 5 I had to be held back by two adults from beating my friend's ass because she was bragging about winning a game against me after she cheated."
"I would headbutt people on the playground."
"I fought two boys in preschool. One was because the bot told me to 'shake my booty' and the other was for turning off the lights in front of me when I was the 'caboose.' I won both."
"I scratched the sh*t out of my brother because he stole my cheese stick."
"I head butted random kids on the playground."
"I used to physically fight my brother if he had my pen for more than five minutes."
"My brother took 'my swing' on the playground so I threw a rock at his forehead."
"In kindergarten I won a race against a guy friend. He said that it didn't count because guys and girls do not race each other in The Olympics so I shoved him off the monkey bars."
"One time a boy wrote me a note and asked me to be his girlfriend. I did not like him so I passed it to the girl next to me and pretended like I didn't know it was for me. She said yes."
"I used to tell everyone in the house to be quiet because I was going to take a nap then I wrote 'I'm asleep' on the whiteboard that was on my door so that no one would disturb me."
"When I was younger my mom had a huge walk in closet with nice designer clothes in them and I would go in there and stare at them and try everything on."
"I refused to do anything that did not bring me joy or comfort."
"In 1st grade, I made a weekly schedule where I accounted for every hour and if anything forced me to deviate from that schedule I would have a breakdown."
"I would go to the grocery store with my mom and pick out the food that I wanted. When we would get home I would hide the food from my brothers in my room so I could have it all to myself."
"Every time I went to the store I would pick out a toy and literally scream until my mom bought it for me."
"I enjoyed nap time when all of the other kids did not."
"I would hide food in my room from my family."
"Every best friend I had growing up I made match outfits with my for school and tell people we were sisters."
"I had a huge encyclopedia about cats. I would read it in my spare time and spew out random facts about cats to literally anyone who would talk to me."
"I lied about silly things all the time to make myself fit in or seem cool throughout grade school and junior high."
"I used to get in trouble for talking. At recess, I had to stand in a box made of chalk. I thought I was Spiderman, so I stared at the wall next to me and tried to climb it to escape."
"My parents didn't like me watching cartoons so they put child lock on Cartoon Network, but Cartoon Network had the best shows on after I got out of school. Every morning I would have my mom turn on Cartoon Network so I could watch 'Scooby-Doo'. I didn't give a f*ck about 'Scooby-Doo', but as long as nobody turned off the TV while I was at school I got to watch my shows. I was 6 when that started."
"I fell out of my seat crying and got my card turned because someone in my class called the substitue teacher 'Mr. Karate" instead of 'Mr. Moradi.'"
"I used to tell people that I have an evil twin named Katherine who was so bad that she went to a private school. I didn't have a twin at all."
"When I was a kid we had dial up internet so you could always hear those beeping sounds when someone turned on the internet. Well one day I googled 'boobs' and printed off a picture of them. My mom heard the internet turn on so she came into the room I was in. The printer was also very slow so all you saw was a picture of boobs slowly printing out. I ran into my room so fast."
"I cried every time I got yelled at."
"I had a new crush every single year and I would be obsessed with them."
"I cried everyday."
"Every time I got mad I used to hold my breath until I passed out."
"When I was in first grade I tried to change my name because I thought it was too basic and I wanted more attention."
"When I was 7 I used to pay GTA and I would pick up the pretty ladies on the side of the road because I thought they needed a ride."
"I used to cry and tell my mom my sisters smacked me when they didn't. I was mad that they were sitting by each other instead of me."
"We were getting rid of our old couch and my dad didn't let me say goodbye 'one last time'. I went into 1st grade and my face was so splotchy from crying that all of the kids thought I had poison ivy. My teacher had to have a heart to hear with me about all things being replaceable."
"In kindergarten I went #2 in the bathroom and I was too embarrassed and shy to tell the teacher I needed her to wipe me so I started crying and they had to call my mom in from work to wipe my ass."
"I would emotionally manipulate my sister into taking the blame for me when I broke something or did something bad."
"I used to pretend that my classmates were my children. I would read them stories."
"I was convinced I would hitch a ride to California one day and be a famous actress. I also did play in the attic of my favorite movies. I emulated the gymnasts on tv during the Olympics. I dressed my sisters up in costumes."
"In 1st grade, I got out my tap shoes and tapped around the classroom."
"I bit my dentist's finger. Then my dad told me to say I was sorry and instead I just glared at her."
"In 5th grade, I stabbed myself in the leg with a pencil to try and get attention."
"I always had to have the brightest and most colorful earrings."
"In kindergarten, I got my card put on the red light because I told a kid he was stupid. I guess he didn't appreciate my honesty."
"I had BEEF with a teacher's assistant. I can't remember what she did. All I remember is her asking me why I didn't listen to her and I said, 'I just don't like you, okay?'"
"I always got in trouble for talking too much. One time was when I reminded the teacher it was time for lunch and that she was running late."
"My family would make fun of me for looking at my reflection in every mirror around the house."
"I always threw a fit at the brother's birthday party so my family would get me presents to open up so I would stop crying."
"One time this mean girl asked me if I liked her purse and I said no. She sent her mother over to scream at me and I just sat there petting my cat like ???"
"I was at my cousin's birthday party and I called the police because I was jealous of him."
"I once let the automatic doors close on my head at Walgreens because I was ready to leave."
"Every time I ate I had to put on long white gloves and a princess dress and if I did not get enough attention I would pack up my things and run away."
"I used to wake up early on the weekends, clean my room, and make my dolls help. They were living in my space rent free the least they could do is clean up."
"I chased my little brother, like very little, brother around the yard, tackled him, and accidentally knocked out his two front teeth."
"I used to apologize to my friends for my room being a 'mess' when there would literally be one sock on the floor."
"I was always a freak about color organizing my pencils, notebooks, folders, and everything else even down to the erasers."
"Once I was in the store and I wanted these scratch and sniff stickers, but she said no because I got something at the last store and that I needed to learn to wait. I guilted her into buying them for me by being all cute and saying, 'bye stickers forever.' I ended up getting them."
"I was repremanded by a substitute teacher in the 3rd grade because I spent all afternoon listing off all of her flaws."
"I liked to tell people cool random facts that I learned. I still do this."
"I opened a savings account after my First Holy Communion."
"Once a girl blew her nose and had a booger on top of it so every time I would blow my nose I would make sure there were not boogers all over my face."
"I would always choose to sit in the back of the classroom so people wouldn't judge what I look like from the back all day."
"I cleaned my room for fun."
"I used to re-wash clean dished just because I liked doing them."
"I never got in trouble because I never did anything wrong."
"When I was little my parents took me to the shoe store and I refused to leave the store without these sequin, ruby high-heeled slippers."
"One time my sister wore my shirt without asking so I threw all of her bras out the window into a tree."
"When I was six I 'ran away' from home wearing my fanciest and best dress."
"I joined a culinary class just because my crush was in it."
"I gave a girl I had a crush on flowers when I was 7."
"I lined up all of my stuffed animals (approximately 25) and gave them each 2 minutes of equal playing time. I would tell the others to stop interrupting because its not fair to the others."
"My favorite phrase growing up was, 'But that's not fair!' I would never drop it and always had to get to the bottom of why something unfair would happen."
"When I was younger my mom used to always say 'kill two birds with one stone'. My eyes welled up and I would always ask why. Those birds deserved justice."
"I had a crush on all of the pretty girls around me but I could never pick which one I wanted to be my girlfriend."
"For my 4th-grade birthday party, I made all of my friends watch The Grudge."
"As a kid, I acted like an evil bunny and would hide from my peers until it was time for snacks."
"In second grade I got sent to the principal's office for playing 'Bloody Mary' in the bathroom."
"When I was younger I wanted to be possessed just to know what it felt like."
"I lived by a graveyard and slept in the basement so I would be on the same level as the bodies."
"I always used to try and talk to the dead and I would make my friends walk to the old cemetary down the street from me."
"I used to read my sisters diary on a regular basis because I had to know what was going on in everyone else's life. I also found out who her crush was and I would torment her about it."
"I got in trouble because in 6th grade my teacher found my diary I dropped where I talked mad shit on all of my classmates and wrote really sad, concerning lyrics."
"I hid underneath a kid's cot during nap time and waited until he fell asleep then bit him so hard he bled because he had hurt my big sister at recess."
"Instead of watching cartoons as a kid I would watch American Greed, unsolved mysteries, and I was obsessed with serial killers."
"I cried about so many things that my nickname became 'Emotional'".
"I used to hump my teddy bears."
"Once my dad was talking to my brother instead of me so I bit my brother as hard as I could."
"I wrote an anonymous note on a new kid's notebook telling him to go back to where he came from just because he forgot my name. The teacher asked someone to admit to it and no one did so we had to take a handwriting test. I changed my handwriting and got away with it."
"In 1st grade, I refused to dress up as a pilgrim or a Native American. I told the whole class that the pilgrims murdered the Native Americans, stole their land and that Thanksgiving was a lie. The whole class was refusing to wear the costumes after that. I got sent to the principal's office and they mistakenly thought my Sagittarius mother would be mad."
"One time I broke my ankle and didn't tell anyone about it for like three weeks."
"I ran away about every day."
"My mom would text me and ask me where I was at and I would always be in a different state."
"My dream job was to be a 'professional vacation taker.'"
"I had to wear a dress to a tea party once and I refused to get out of the car. It got to the point to where my dad was pulling me by the legs."
"I made my Polly Pockets cheat on each other."
"I got in trouble for telling my friend he was a crybaby and a wussy."
"I told my parents I wanted to be an airplane when I grew up. Not the pilot, the airplane.
"I used to get separated from my friends in class for talking too much only to make new friends with whoever sat next to me."
"When I was a kid I would tell my crush I loved them but lose feelings if they said it back."
"I thought I was a cat until I was like 12."
"Once I climbed on the roof and just chilled there when I was 8 or 9. My family was freaking out because they couldn't find me."
"When I was in grade school I texted a subscription for a 'love guru' on MTV and then I got grounded because I lied to my mom and told her I didn't do it."
"For a summer reading project, I read 'The Red Pony' by John Steinbeck and wrote my whole project on how badly it was written and used literary analysis to come for a famous author. I got an A+ and it was used as the class example."
"I decided I wanted to be an attorney at the age of 8."
"I got in trouble in kindergarten for saying 'Girls rule, boys drool.'"
"When my family would piss me off I would yell 'I hate this family', pack my luggage bag, and walk around the neighborhood until dinner was ready."
"When I was in 7th grade I got in trouble because my math teacher was being sarcastic and asked the class if we wanted him to stop teaching and just do our homework. I said yeah and he sent me to the hall, wrote me up, and gave me more homework."
"I changed my AIM 'About Me' section when I was 12 to a mini-thesis paper on why the song 'Mrs. New Booty' was objectifying to women."
"When I was a kid I forbade my mother from painting her toenails so that men wouldn't approach her whenever dad wasn't with us in public."
"When I was a kid I loved bugs and any kind of weird creepy crawly animals. I once got in trouble at school because I punched a kid in the face for stepping on a butterfly."
"I got in trouble and had to sit out of recess because I would not speak or answer questions when asked by anyone including my teacher."
"I was obsessed with bringing home stray animals or any animal that I saw outside because I did not want them to be cold."
"I would always pick up any garbage that I found in my neighborhood."
"My parents always told me that life would get easier when I got older and went to a bigger school because I'd meet people who would 'get' me."
"I used to think adults were really stupid and I never wanted to become one."
"I did not like my star sign because it was an old bearded man."
"I wrote a young author's book about animal facts and in it, I wrote, "Giraffes eat sparrows when we aren't looking.'"
"When I was 6 I fell asleep and my mom had to carry me to the car. I woke up, looked at the stars, and said, "One day my people will return for me.'"
"When I was a kid I told my kindergarten class I was an alien because I had two belly buttons. In reality, I have a scar on my stomach from a feeding tube that looks like a belly button but being an alien sounded cooler."
"I would always get yelled at for reading ahead in books. I read over 60 chapter books one summer."
"I bit my cousin in the arm so hard I drew blood all because she would not put a certain dress on a Barbie doll."
"When we would run on the track I would run the opposite way of everyone else because I did not want to be like them and the thought of rebellion literally made my day."
"I got in trouble for going into the boy's bathroom to see some kid's puke. I didn't understand why I could not go in there since I wasn't using the bathroom I was just looking at puke."
"I would get mad at my parent, hide behind my bedroom door and levitate."
"I was always naked or in my pajamas."
"I went off on someone for trying to force me to talk about my feelings."
"I casually persuaded my friend to let me cut off her beautiful hair by telling her that I was really good at cutting hair. I was 7."
"One time I walked across town to my grandparents' house when I was three years old because I did not feel like my parents were giving me enough attention."
"I used to always get in trouble for reading in class. I'd be in math class and have a novel sitting in my lap."
"I also got in trouble for reading in class."
"At my birthday party we had a singing contest and the other girls gave me a 2/10. I cried and went home because of that."
"I cried all the time."
"I made a list of the good and bad kids in my class."
"I was 10 and I went to two different jewelry kiosks in the mall. While talking to the owners and looking around, I picked up a piece I liked. I gave them puppy dog eyes and told them how much I loved it and they gave it to me for free."
"One time a girl told me that Nick Jonas wasn't even cute so I fake fainted and ended up in the ER with four staples in my head."
"In fourth grade a boy gave me a teddy bear and was telling people that he liked me. I didn't like him and I felt bad so I wrote him a note telling him that I was sorry but I was not interested using some of the lines from 'Big Girls Don't Cry' by Fergie."