I can recall so many nights that ended with me awake at night, praying for things I thought were right for me in that moment.

I prayed for people and situations that I wanted so badly to turn out in my favor, of how my mind had pictured it, but those prayers went unanswered. I talked to God daily because I needed strength and guidance and I knew I couldn’t do it on my own, but at times, I felt lost because I created plans and ideas that weren’t part of God’s greater plan for me. However, I didn’t realize it at the time.

Lately, my heart has been fuller than it’s ever been. I’ve felt loved, valued, and important, and if it wasn’t for the rejection, heartbreak, and letdowns in my past that I asked God to mend and fix, I wouldn’t be where I am now — exactly where I’m meant to be. In the moment, sometimes, we can’t understand and it takes time and the right thing or person to come along and remind us that we need to appreciate the unanswered prayers led us to where we belong.

In this life, our one special chance here on Earth, we don’t always know the answers or know what is even best for us, but I’m reminded to listen and trust my gut when all else fails because God is always there, even in the silence. We aren’t in this alone, and all the things that shake us to our core are part of the process because I wouldn’t be as loving and caring as I am today if it wasn’t for the life I have lived — through triumphs, burdens, and failures.

Now, I lay awake at night, thanking God for where I am. I radiate light, not because my life is perfect by any means, but because I know I am part of something bigger than myself. I’ve learned life is about love: loving others and loving yourself. I pray for the ones I love and continue to ask for strength to love deeper than I ever have because I am learning God works in mysterious ways.

When you’re ready and the moment is right, God answers your underlying prayers, the ones that fulfill your soul and makes you a better person. Lately, I’ve been thanking God for unanswered prayers because He led me to where I am meant to be, with who brings light into my life.