"She was a true fighter, you could see it in her eyes. She was not born strong, she was made strong. She was sculpted to be her own hero when the world let her down, and she kept picking herself back up" -unknown
If you have not already come across one of these girls, I'm sure you will at some point. Do you remember the girl who was okay with being alone? The one who did not reply to your texts, or respond the same to your smooth moves? The one who did not answer you even when you said all the right things? She was probably one of us; Someone who is used to being on their own.
I call it independence. We have learned how to be there for ourselves, to pick ourselves up when we fall, and how to rely solely on ourselves. It took time, we weren't always okay with being alone. We were not always strong enough, but somewhere along the way, we stopped relying on others and we turned to ourselves. And we are okay with that: we are okay with being on our own.
We're the girls who have become independent. We are the girls who have walls higher than the Empire State building. We are the girls who may have been hurt one too many times, by someone or something. We are the girls who do not need somebody else to feel happy. And most importantly we are the girls who do not rely on others to feel complete.
Yes, we have high walls built up. Because they are ours, just ours. A place of protection, our life (the past, present and future), the deepest depths of our heart, and a place to call our own; a place we do not have to share with anyone. We get to choose who comes in, and we do not take that lightly. It doesn't mean we are not willing to let someone else in. It just means you better show us a good damn reason as to why you deserve to see the girl who stands behind the walls.
Yes, she's okay being alone. She's strong and can handle quite a bit. She can probably hike the trails solo but it doesn't mean she doesn't want a partner in crime to track along the rugged terrain with. The girls who are used to being on their own do not need you to feel complete, they already do. But if they let you in, they are making room for you to be apart of their life. They see something in you that makes them build a tiny door in the wall.
The thing you should know is that if you find a girl that's used to being on her own, it doesn't mean she's not willing to let someone else in. It means she's holding out for the right one. Someone who can show her loyalty, adventure, and a true connection. And Someone who will be there to catch her when she falls. She may want to take things slow. Remember she's used to being on her own, and this is all new to her. She may pull away from you a bit.
Once she realizes how much you like her, she's going to have to think things through. To decide if you are worth opening up to. She's going to want to know if your feelings are real, or if you are just playing her. She may come across as strong at first. Do not let this scare you, she is clothed in strength, but she is the perfect balance of soft and strong once you get to know her. And the most important trait of a girl who is used to being on her own is that she will be a little scared. Scared to have feelings, to fall in love, to hurt, and to open up. Scared that she will let you in, and you will leave.
So when you try to talk to the girl who is used to being on her own, she may shut you down. It may take some more time than it has with other girls. You may have to message her more than once to get a reply, but she's worth it. She's worth it because once you get past the outside wall, the girl on the inside will give you her all. Give it time with these girls. Good things do not come easy. While you're trying to break into her safe space; she's trying to find reasons to prove to herself you're not like the rest.
