I had my heart broken last February, about a week before Valentine's day too. Great way to start off the New Year. I understand, now, why people say you can die from a broken heart because I've never been in pain like that before. It could have been because this heartbreak was my first and though I thought I would never heal, I did and I learned a lot along the way. Here are 5 things I learned after my first broken heart.
1. I should be treated like royalty
Nicki Minaj - A Queen
No, I'm not full of myself and yes, I am a queen. I deserve respect, loyalty, support and a little admiration every once in a while in case my crown starts to fall.
2. Read the signs, trust your gut
Don't let love blind you, don't let lust pull the shade. You can tell if someone is what you need them to be, giving you what you need or if someone is genuinely compatible with you. If your gut says no, that means no. Drop it, move on, don't waste time.
3. Recognize genuine honesty vs. wanted “honesty”
Judge Judy - Tell The Truth
This may be the most important lesson I learned from my most recent relationship. This goes back to #2. If you're blinded by love that it's hard to recognize when someone is being genuinely honest about their feelings toward you or what you mean to them. With love blinders on, it's nearly impossible to discern between real truths and when your significant other is just telling you what you want to hear. Learn to see the difference.
4. Communication is key
Community - Donald Glover
Again, going back to #2-3, frequently discussing relationship status, feelings about the relationship or literally, anything else is the key to making a relationship work. If someone is doing something annoying or some aspect of the relationship is making you unhappy, talk about it. How are the problems going to get fixed if no one is even aware there's a problem? Communication only works, however, if there is honesty, intuition, and respect.
5. If you’re not getting what you want/need, it’s not right
Full House - Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen
For me, I thought the relationship was perfect. I was so happy but clearly my significant other was not. The breakup came as a shock to me and I spent months trying to figure out what I did or what went wrong. I now realize that it wasn't anyone's fault, but in reality, neither of us was getting what we needed from the relationship. I was so blinded by my first love that I didn't even realize he had begun showing signs he wasn't happy anymore. Looking back, I wasn't happy either but I quieted these feeling because I didn't want to let go of the love I thought we had.
Relationships are hard but each one is an experience from which lessons can be derived. Lessons that will shape and evolve the way you approach each new romance so that when the right person comes along, you will be ready. Having a broken heart sucks. Majorly sucks. I do not have one regret from my first relationship though. I learned how a man should treat me and feel about me when the relationship started. As the relationship declined, I learned the more difficult lessons I covered above. I thank my ex for teaching me these lessons about relationships and about myself and now that my heart has mostly healed, there are no hard feelings. It's time to move forward.
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