A Study In Positivity

What Would You Say To Your Younger Self?

A Study In Positivity.


You know those commercials that you just block out as you wait for your favorite show to come back on? The ones that replay on repeat and you subconsciously absorb even if you don't want to? Yeah, you know that ones I'm talking about. Recently, Reebok put out one of those commercials. The series of commercials so far has involved famous, celebrity women. Some of these are Gal Gadot, Ariana Grande, and Gigi Hadid. The commercial's theme is to "be more human" and asks "What would you tell your younger self?"

After hearing the question for the one-thousandth time this week, it actually managed to get me thinking. First, do I need a new pair of shoes? Then, what WOULD I tell my younger self? The beauty of growing older is that you can see the parts of your life that you thought was such a HUGE deal really aren't in the grand scheme of things. You can look back and know what you should tell the ten, fourteen, or sixteen years old you.

For me, this question has a few answers. The first thing I would tell my younger self is not to be afraid of being different. As you get older, you realize nobody really fits one hundred percent into that cookie cutter mold that high school students constantly try to fit into. You don't have to like the same things as everyone else. You can have your own interests and hobbies. Those interests will stay with you and might lead you to discover a really cool job. They might lead you to an event where you make lifelong friends. It's okay to be an individual. Rock that 50's style dress or those platform combat boots if you want to.

The second thing I would tell the younger me is that it's okay to let people in. You don't have to hide what you feel or pretend you have a limited set of emotions. The people who really matter will stick by your side regardless of how much you can be an idiot at times. That saying that goes "Those who matter care" is a real thing. Some of the best friends you'll ever make will see sides of you that you wish they hadn't. The great thing about those friends is that they don't care if you're a mess or you're sobbing on one end of the phone while they listen. They'll still love you regardless, and you'll be better off for it.

The last thing that I would tell my younger self is that it's okay to go at your own pace if it means you keep your sanity. The development comes in stages, and everyone goes through those stages differently. Personal development may take longer sometimes than your academic development. Maybe it'll take you longer to develop social skills. All of that is okay. There is no set timeline for when you have to accomplish those things that you feel are "the big ones." Life gets busy and hectic. Events happen that alter your timelines. Don't be afraid of adjustment.

The beauty of hindsight is that we know what we would say now. But don't you ever wish that you could go back and let yourself know that something you thought was the end of the world was really only a hiccup? I know I do. What would YOU tell yourself if you had the chance?

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To The Girl Who Always Feels Left Out

Maybe next time...

To the girl who always feels left out,

Girl, let me just tell you, I know the feeling. It feels as though my whole life, I have been that girl. You know that feeling when you are standing in a group of people and someone comes up and asks everyone to go to lunch in that group... But you?

Or they make it even worse by saying "Oh, I guess you can come too." You guess I can come to?

No, thank you.

At that point, you feel like the only reason you are being invited is that they feel like they have to. Which more than likely is actually the case. What about when you ask your friend to hang out and she can't because she will be doing homework all night? However, an hour later, you see her with your other best friend. Oh okay cool, sorry for bothering you with my friendship.

You know you are the girl who is always left out when you are the designated "photographer" or you have to specifically ask if you can take a picture with them because they are obviously done taking pictures and did not want one with you.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who 'Float' Between Friend Groups

We all know "Hey, will you take this picture of us?" all too well. Am I right, ladies? Oh yeah, it is fine. I hate being in pictures. I definitely hate taking pictures to remember this wonderful time I'm having.

What about when you and your friends discuss doing something later during the week and you ask about it but "It's probably not happening anymore." Then you check and would you look at that, your "friends" are having fun without you.


Oh but don't worry about it, I had things to do anyway. You know, clean the house, work on homework that is due next week, binge-watch The Office for the third time this week. Fun stuff. Oh and better yet when you see your friends are hanging out without you. The next time they see you, they talk about how much fun they had.

Oh yes, please tell me about how much fun you had without me. I totally enjoy hearing about how "I totally missed out" and "I should have come." Well, an invite would have been well appreciated. But maybe next time, right? Wrong.

Yeah, I know what you are thinking, "Wow this girl is being so petty." Well if you are thinking that, then you obviously do not know the feeling. And to think about it, you probably are not the one in the friend group who is being left out. So think about who that person is and make them feel included next time. It would be greatly appreciated. You do not know how much of a difference it could make.

Yes, I know everyone feels left out sometimes, but time after time, it starts to get really old. Then after you have to start inviting yourself to hang out with people, you realize well since they are not inviting me themselves, maybe they don't want me here. And then surprisingly, you stop hanging out with them. Hmmm, I wonder what could've possibly happened.

Yes, I know, most people do not do this on purpose. I am sure I have even done it once or twice without realizing it, and I am truly sorry.

From one left out girl to another,

Good Luck

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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The Shape Of The Monster: Depression

The second piece in a series about mental illness.


The last thing I want to do is glorify mental illness, give it a platform, give it a name. But I need to talk about it, to work through it, to show that it's something many people experience.

It goes like this.

Hey! Sorry I haven't called you back. Everything has been so busy.

Every time I think about even picking up the phone and calling you, something heavy but familiar sets in my stomach like a weight.

You know how things get.

You know how easy it is to want to slip into absolute nothingness, right?

I've been trying to write, but my writer's block has been limiting me a lot.

Everything I write is so bad. The flow is off. It doesn't sound like me. It feels so crooked and wrong. I can't do anything right.

How are things? Has work been alright?

I hope you feel successful. I hope things are easier for you. I hope you are as happy as you seem.

I'm okay.

I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere. I feel crooked and wrong like I just want to scream and cry and dissolve.

I've just been so tired!

I have been tired for at least a decade. Tired of never sleeping. Tired of never feeling anything more than either absolute devastation and absolute nothingness. Tired. Tired. Tired.

I hope I can see you soon.

I hope I can bring myself to get out of bed and out into the world. I hope I can force myself to shower, and get dressed, and be a contributor to society, to social obligations.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I love you.

I love you.

I promise to call as soon as things lighten up a bit.

As long as the chemical imbalance doesn't destroy me altogether, hopefully, I can feign vague interest for a short phone call.


Goodbye for now, maybe goodbye forever, maybe I'll work up the courage to call you in another 2, 5, 7 weeks or so. My life is made of "maybes." Maybe one-day things will be better. Maybe one day I'll be happy. Maybe one day I won't be anything. Maybe.

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