When I was 14, my life was a constant up and down roller coaster. I dealt with standardized testing, the pressures of the dinner dance, 8th-grade graduation, and then my dad's passing.
Now that my little sister is 14 and in 8th grade, there is a lot I wish I knew then that I hope my little sister knows now.
Your middle school grades will no longer matter.
All throughout middle school I struggled with math. I forever had C's and even a D at one point. I beat myself up over it. I wish I knew that my grades in middle school didn't mean a thing. It's your grades in high school that really matter for the future when it comes to credits, graduation, and going to college. Ending middle school and starting high school is a clean slate when it comes to grades. I wish I knew when I was 14 that my math grades from middle school would no longer matter and that in high school I would go on to AP Statistics my senior year.
The bullies don't necessarily go away, but you begin to see the truth.
Girls remain catty and guys remain cocky. But the older you get, the more you grow into yourself and become a bit more confident. Out of high school, "bullies" become less obvious and are more of haters in the background. The same girls who would make fun of your looks and weight become the ones liking your Instagram photos and complimenting your outfits on the regular. The same guys who would reject you or call you ugly suddenly pop-up in your inbox and call you gorgeous and beautiful, act as if they had never been cruel to you, and smoothly ask you out (you know, "Netflix and chill"). I wish I would have known that the day would come where I reject them! Never would I have ever thought at 14 that this would happen regularly and I would feel so empowered by turning them down.
No one will remember your screw ups.
I was (am, whatever) really clumsy and forever making fumbles and tumbles in the hallway. I was forever losing things, throwing my retainer away by accident, ripping my pants, you know, the works. And every time something happened, my life was over. I would go home and plan my escape to Mexico in hopes to never have to face anyone again. But, my mom wouldn't let me go to Mexico so I had to go back to school. So when I went back, everyone basically had forgotten and was talking about some other gossip or rumor.
Of course, this happened multiple times; every time I planned my trip to Mexico and every time I returned to school and everyone forgot.
Your friends do not stay your friends; they don't even remain acquaintances.
I had what I thought were best friends for life in middle school. I wish I didn't trust every single person who called me their friend. Now, six years later I still actively talk to two, maybe three girls out of my huge friend group. I have friends who became enemies, friends who became backstabbers, and friends who have became strangers. I walk by some of them like I had never spoken to them in my life. And I have learned to be okay with that. Not every single person you meet is meant to be your "best friend". If I knew that when I was younger, it would have saved me a lot of trouble and heartache, but that's okay. I would not have fought for as many people as I tried to.
My issues were not the end of the world; they went as soon as they came.
I had many "catastrophes" when I was 14. I honestly cannot remember one that was that traumatic. I do remember that as soon as I would have a crisis, I would summon my friends to the bathroom by walking by their classroom... and the problem would be gone by the time I got the whole story out of my mouth. My biggest crisis was probably the time I put maroon eye shadow on and I looked like I was punched in the face. I never did that again. As I got older, I learned that real dilemmas included things like waking up to a flat tire and having to pay bills. College came, and my issues included the debate on whether to go to the student dining hall or to spend the $0.99 on ramen noodles.
I learned great budgeting skills though, kind of.
High school isn't a "new start", for the most part.
While it may be for grades, it isn't for everything else. In television and movies, you see that high school is a brand new start and everything is amazing. But in reality, nothing much has changed. You just moved into a school with older people. You know most of the people in your grade, teachers from different schools communicate, and the town is the same. A positive mind is good, but expecting a 360-degree change is a bit drastic and will be a big let down.
Trust me.
I have turned into an amazing human being!
At 14, everyone wonders what they are going to turn out like. I was so self-conscious and insecure, I believed I would always be that way. I thought because of my math grades I was going to turn into an undesirable adult with an undesirable job.
But guess what?
It has been becoming more apparent to me lately that I was wrong.
I have grown into an intelligent, kind, generous, whole-hearted, attractive and likeable young woman. I am in college, have a great job, and a great future ahead of me! I have made many good choices and changes in my life.
If only I had known that at 14, I would have been so much more excited for the future.
As the saying goes, be the person your younger self needed.
June 2010 vs June 2016