One of the scariest moments in life is the first drive from home to college. It never felt real, and even the first week of school felt like an illusion. You could never get any sleep as you were in a strange bed and a new surrounding that was unfamiliar. When you did get sleep, you would wake up forgetting where you actually were. As a college freshman, who knew nothing, coming into the next four years I wish I would have known a few things. These are what I wish I would have known:
1. Friends come and go.
You may believe you have already met all the friends you will ever need in life but this is not necessarily true. There are some friends that will enter your life intermediately; these are the friends you will always care about though you might not see it. Other friends are there for life and, for some reason, both of your lives are going in the same direction or they part separate ways. We can choose who want to be our friends, but we cannot make them stay or lead them in the direction we want them to go -- this is okay. This is normal.
2. College is just another stepping stone.
As far as you know, college is the biggest step in your life. It is huge in this moment; every part of our lives is to teach us and guide us for the next part. College is where you finally decide for yourself exactly what direction that will be.
3. Not everyone finds their life partner.
Growing up you watched more hours of television than you can probably count, and somewhere down the line you began to believe that college is where everyone finds love. I am sorry to have to tell you this -- that is not true. And the truth is only some people do, and the world seems unfair and against you. However, you will learn that there is a brighter future for you than what you had planned.
4. It won’t always be a scary place.
This is your first time on your own. You have finally broke out of your little bubble and started to discover the world. You may look at it now thinking it is scary or unconventional, and I am here to tell you it all works out in the end. Well it has proven true that it is only as scary as you let it be. Be fearless! Be fearless in conversations with others and in your new walk of life, you have been planning for this for a long time.
5. Your roommate does not always turn out to be your best friend.
Some people are immensely lucky when they meet their roommate and come to find out that they met their best friend. You will be let down if you place high expectations on other people that they may not be able to fulfill. If you can learn to first establishing living together peacefully, there can be a better chance of becoming friends.
6. Sitting in your room will get you nowhere.
Stop binge watching television and step outside your room. You live in a community where thousands and thousands of people your age also live. This means endless opportunities to meet friends or find a group/club you want to join. Nothing will ever happen if you never leave your room constantly thinking “what if.”
7. It is okay to miss home.
Missing home is normal. In fact, there are college seniors that even miss home. What helps the most is finding people on campus that you will soon call your "home away from home." These are the people that you will eventually bring home with you because you love them so much. No matter where you go in life, you will always miss home because it is a part of who you are and where you came from. It is the beginning of your identity, but you do not always need to be home to embrace that.
8. It is okay to question who you are.
High school consisted of constantly questioning who we are. You never felt like you could make a decision that was not heavily influenced by outside thoughts. In college, you can make mistakes and learn from them. You can start to figure out who you are, and where you will go. It is not up to anyone else but you to follow through. This is the time in your life to question everything, so you can know all the answers for yourself.
9. Saying "no" will not be the end of your social life.
Saying no to a night out will not hurt your social life. If you need a break, take a break. Whatever it is, feed your soul with what gives it energy. If you are a person who occasionally needs solace, then it is okay to take a night off. Fear of missing out is a real issue in college due to social media. Rest and focus are needed just as much as the other aspects in your life.
10. Do not set high expectations for anyone but yourself.
You can learn this the hard way or take my advice. Setting unrealistic expectations for other people will only end badly. People are human and they will fail you and having unreal expectations ruined will strain certain relationships. If you place expectations for yourself, you will hold yourself more accountable for your own actions and for your own mistakes. Not everyone will have the same expectations for the relationship, which if it is left unsaid or noted then it can cause drifts in a relationship.
11. Being who you are is more than a cliché.
Pretending to be something you are not for the sake of pleasing others will never end in your happiness. You will begin to hate your relationships that feel fake, and you will end up hurt. People cannot like who you are if you never act authentic around them.
