It's that time of year; when everyone gushes and ohhs and ahhs over the FAB-U-LOUS Victoria's Secret models. Their bods, their hair, and the WTF looks that somehow made it on one of the most watched runways of the year. So grab a cookie and a glass of wine, and let's enjoy the fact that we get to eat burgers and not wear these ridiculous, albeit tantalizing costumes.
Let me just start out by saying I, like many girls my age, live for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show every year. Beautiful models with abs to make you not want to eat for a month, my generation eats that shit up! Body positivity be damned! But really, this year I am not sure what happened.
This show was most likely designed by:
a college student who's signature look is a sweatshirt that covers her shorts so she looks like she's not wearing pants,
Mushu,
the Birdwoman from "Home Alone 2",
a Ger·man·o·phile (the only one in existence),
AND
Paddington the Bear.
Don't believe me? Well just let me show you what I mean...
THE Pants Hating College Student Collection:
Guys, if I could ask for one thing for Christmas it would be to MAKE UNDER BOOB NOT A THING!
-- In reality it's just very uncomfortable, and weird looking...
Let's be honest, this is Regina George circa 2016. Pretty sure Tina Fey has a patent on this look.
'Member Pink Dogs? 'Member middle school when you wore basketball shorts to school and got pants-ed in the Commons and you had a thong on that day 'cause you were a rebel and bought 5 for $25 without your mom knowing and the whole school saw, laughed, and a little part of you died when you had to talk to the principal about it?
No? Just me?
But at least one Pink girl did slay:
THE MUSHU Collection :
Ok, I'll admit these aren't as bad as some of the PINK looks but that one model is carrying the dragon that the Huns are about to jump out of and kidnap the emperor!
THE Crazy Bird Woman Collection:
One of these things is not like the others... no, nope wait, they're all the same.
THE Germanophile Collection:
This is enough to make Heidi Klum cry.
And Finally,
THE Paddington Bear Collection:
Rihanna's Umbrella video was 9 years ago. 9 YEARS!
