I want my nephew to grow up to be a feminist.

I want him to know that girls should be treated equally. I want him to see his mom and aunts conquer the world by themselves and then find the man of their dreams and conquer the world again together.

I want him to know that he shouldn’t hit anybody. But if someone hits him or really deserves to be hit (I’ll explain to him the circumstances where it might be helpful) that he is to give them one good one and then walk away.

I want him to know that it is okay to cry and show emotion. I’ve already told him that if he finds himself having more negative feelings than positive ones that he is to come and talk to me. I will help him. I will repeat these words all of his life, or until he starts to repeat them to me when I am old. But I want to make sure that he knows it is okay if he cries when a wild bird dies, or a dog in a movie when he fails a test or the person he loves doesn’t love him back. I want him to know that it does not make him any less of a man.

I will teach him that his manliness doesn’t depend on how many sports he is good at or if he can save a damsel in distress. I will teach him that his manliness is defined by how willing he is to help other people and if he is a kind person.

I will not tell him to toughen up when he gets hurt. The words “rub some dirt on it and you’ll be fine should not come out of my mouth.” People get hurt and they need to learn how to take care of themselves when they do. I don’t want him to be hurting for a lifetime because someone told him to toughen up.

I will give him dolls to play with if he wants to and tell him that this does not make him a girl. I will show him how to be a good daddy to his dolls. I want to help grow his nurturing side because one day I will have kids and they will be much younger than him and I want him to feel comfortable holding his baby cousins. One day, he might be someone’s doctor, teacher, nurse, caretaker, social worker or dad and I will be happy that he learned a long time ago how to properly take care of a little human.

I want my nephew to grow up to be a feminist because it is a belief that all genders are equal. It is a belief that women can be successful and men can be nurturing.