It’s not common, it couldn't be. Or could it? With 7 billion people in the world why do we expect everyone to be perfect? Ah, the American dream, a family of four, a mom, a dad, a girl and a boy, living under a quaint roof with a beautiful front lawn. Why are we so embarrassed with imperfection?

Often the lessons we needed to learn the most are taught to us by surprising people. If you’ve known someone who is mentally, or emotionally challenged, you may remember some of the tragic times. However, there is a lot to be said about the things we learn from them.

Troubled siblings, friends, and peers, teach countless lessons we may only realize subconsciously. In times of need, I have personally seen people come together in ways unimaginable. There is a lot to be said about the way people come together in crisis.

We are taught family comes first, and family is our support system. While someone toxic in my household should have torn my family apart, it drew my family closer. The stress, yelling, and violence showed me the most transparent version of my parents and siblings I’ve ever seen- and it was eye opening. Everyone stood up for each other, expecting no favor in return. We became eachothers main support systems. I had never realized how important family was until this point, we were each other's source of relief. My troubled sibling taught me how I needed family more than ever, how we all needed each other to feel OK again.

Lesson One: Family Matters

Next, acceptance, coming to terms with situations is underappreciated. The modern day solution is often to pretend it never happened- however I have personally found that to be the hardest way to move on from something. Coming to terms with things, whether negative or positive, helps us understand the reality of situations. Accepting the tragic events that occurred was my first step to feeling relieved, and free. Not everything is our fault, and this certainly was the case for me as well. Human beings have the tendency to blame ourselves for anything with a remorseful feeling. It’s OK if your family isn’t perfect, this does not change who you are as a person or what you believe in. You are not similar to them if you don’t want to be.

Lesson Two: Acceptance is Healthy

I also learned one of the most important lessons, how to treat others. If I had not seen the negative repercussions and pain my closest family members felt I would have never known how impactful we are on others. I learned even the smallest words and actions we voice and inact have an everlasting effect. I saw the wave effect my sibling had on my parents, then siblings, and then myself. Seeing others in despair motivated me to try and help others as much as possible- we all deserve better. It is so easy to make others feel appreciated, and valued, life is too short to live negatively through. I would have never learned this so young if it wasn’t for seeing it first hand.

Lesson Three: Treat how you Want to be Treated

Although “family is family”, there is no pressure, or need to keep someone toxic in your life. It seems unimaginable, especially as parents, but when should we draw the line? Someone who is awarded chance after chance that mentally or physically hurts you should no longer gain from the sacrifices you make for them. I learned how chances are acceptable and expected, but not mandatory after a certain point. This goes for anyone in life, personal quality of life is too rare and valuable to sacrifice.

Lesson Four: Personal Quality of Life is Important

If there’s anything you can take from this, it’s that you should be keeping your family close. If you think you should call your mom, call.

Learning from others is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned, even from a negative situation. Life is too short to be unhappy, unappreciative, and negative, and that is the last lesson I learned from my troubled sibling.

Sincerely,

An Appreciative Girl from a Negative Situation