The answer is simple, long years of Eurocentric beauty standards and abuse.
The multi-platinum recording artist, global music and fashion Icon, and Grammy winner known as Lil Kim, born Kimberly Denise Jones, has been through so much in not only her music career, but her personal life as well. Lil Kim was a huge part of my life growing up. My mother had every CD Kim could offer and played her music on almost every car ride. Lil Kim's music was one of my first introductions to black womanhood, of what being a carefree black girl really meant, and the realization that I could be as powerful as she was. Lil Kim was the woman all little black girls wanted to be growing up in my hood. She was a dominant figure on and off the stage and displayed what young girls could only dream of: respect, power and wealth.
If nothing else, Lil Kim was respected. As stated in "All about the Benjamin's" one of her many (and I do mean many) iconic verses, she was the only female in her crew and she kicked shit like a n*gga could do, and she could also pull the the trigger too! To be surrounded day and night by the likes of Notorious B.I.G, Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs, Mase and more, and be the recognized, loved and dominant face of Junior M.A.F.I.A, in the extremely male dominated space of rap and still be able to be sweet, vulgar, and passionate? Kimberly was making it known that she was here to stay and no one could take her throne. She captured the hearts and wallets of many men and women, and didn't give a fuck while doing it. She didn't care what you thought about the way she dressed, and didn't hesitate to have her areolas on display for you to hate on.
Lil Kim was an icon from the moment she stepped foot on the scene. And yet, like most black women, Lil Kim struggled with abuse, colorism, sexism, internalized racism, and low self-esteem. Although Lil Kim has never publicly stated exactly why she began her transformation, she has given us insight to her life to help us understand why she may have gone underneath the knife. In true Lil Kim fashion, honesty was all we got in her 2000 Newsweek interview, where she admitted that growing up she often felt rejection, usually from her own father. "Everything about me was wrong- my hair, my clothes, just me." She recalled, saying that this mindset is what shaped her idea of what relationships were, "It's always been men putting me down, just like my dad. To this day, when someone says I'm cute, I can't see it. I don't see it no matter what anybody says."
When young girls, especially young black girls, feel rejection and neglect from their fathers, naturally they're going to try and do everything they can to please them. And if that doesn't work, they're going to go find that love elsewhere, even if it's toxic. "I have low self-esteem and I always have, guys always cheated on me with women who were European looking. You know the long hair type. Really beautiful women who left me thinking 'How can I compete with that?' Being a regular black girl wasn't good enough."
Growing up in a society that teaches black girls they'll only be valuable if they have lighter skin and straighter hair starts killing off our self esteem at such a young age, that we never get a chance to just exist as we are, without objection. And no matter how high our position in the world we can never escape those harsh objections. Lil Kim and other dark skin women in the limelight are proof of that. Lil Kim is also living proof of how far black women will go to be accepted in a world that never appreciated us anyway. Lil Kim's drastic transformation isn't anything to joke or laugh about. Between the way she was raised and the complete disrespect and violence she faced in her relationships with black men, Kimberly Denise Jones deserves to be at peace at this point her life, free from ridicule and enjoying her time with her beautiful daughter, and on tour with her family as a part of the Bad Boy Reunion.
And while I don't endorse these procedures to this extreme length, I do understand what motivated her to have them. Furthermore, it ain't my damn business anyway! Lil Kim will forever be an icon and a trendsetter, no matter how many body changes and face transformations she has, Lil Kim is the Queen Bee so you best take heed!
