While getting older invites many new things that we are finally able to do such as travel the world alone, drive a car, drink legally, get married, and possibly start paying our own bills, there are still several aspects that tend to suck. One of my least favorite aspects of growing up is losing touch with most of my childhood friends. The people I grew up with, who knew all of my first crushes, who saw me with braces, who would come over to play dolls with me, and who knew all of my "darkest" secretes and my embarrassing middle school stages, suddenly become too busy or overwhelmed with their own lives to remember their old back at home friends. While I completely understand since I have summer classes and a job that takes up most of my time, it is still my least favorite part of growing up.

When I'm browsing through Facebook at old pictures, I can't help but become teary-eyed at all of the precious times I spent with them. I don't know where all the time went, and although I love the life I am living now, I can't help but wish I could go back and relive some of those moments with my old best friends again. I miss being dumb little girls and spending hours sitting in front of the camera to snap hundreds of pictures of a hang out that showed little to no importance at the time. I miss having a second house, somewhere that I could walk in and take whatever food I wanted from the fridge because I was there so much. I miss being able to just bike to a friends house and spend hours biking the neighborhood with them because we didn't have any other responsibilities to worry about.

Now life is complicated. My childhood best friends and I have all grown up, and appear to have drifted apart during the process. We all attend different colleges, have different jobs, and have made too many new friends to even count. These new friends are friends who have seen the new us, the one who has changed and grown into something great. They weren't around during the ugly middle school growing up phase, which is amazing however they'll never know everything about us, and we'll never know every little thing about them. Only my childhood best friends will know about things I sometimes wish they never saw, and how much I might have changed from the old me.

So to all of my childhood friends who I hardly speak to anymore, I just want to say I'm sorry we drifted apart. I'm sorry I don't know everything going on in your life anymore, but I can tell you that I hope it is everything you could've ever asked for. From the facebook posts you make, I hope you know that you seem really happy and excited about everything going on and that I couldn't be any more happier for you. I want you to know that when I see your picture pop up on social media, I think you have grown into a gorgeous young woman, who is going to get everything that she has ever asked for. I want you to know that I think about you most days and wonder where the time has gone. I think about texting up to ask you how life is going, but then I get too scared that I'm going to bother you in all of your awesomeness so I leave you alone. But just know, that as my childhood best friend if you ever feel lonely and like you've lost everyone in your life, remember that your old best friend is still sitting on the sidelines cheering you on from afar, because no matter how far we drift apart, you will always occupy a special place in my heart.

Losing your closest friends is the worst part of growing up. If I could keep every single friend I made in my life I would, however that just isn't how it works. People are meant to walk in and out of your life for various reasons, and from growing up I have realized that some of my old best friends are meant to stay with my past self, while my new ones are supposed to stick with me as I continue to grow. While that breaks my heart, I realize that it is apart of life and one of the important ways in which we grow.

So to all of my old best friends from back home, I hope you know that I hate how much we have drifted apart, however I am still always here for you if you ever need me. I will also always love you no matter what, because you were there for me through almost everything, and that's a bond that is very hard to break. I will always think of you, and when I see that you are married and have beautiful children and your dream job, I will smile from the sidelines, proud as ever that you were one of my childhood best friends.