In my small town in rural Missouri we have over ten churches and almost everyone belongs to one. From a young age, I didn’t want to go to church. I’d throw fits and fake sick, or just pretend I was so fast asleep that I couldn’t be woken up. On the days my mother dragged me to church, I would often daydream or draw pictures while listening to the sermons. As I got older and actually started listening to the sermons, most of the things I heard I didn’t particularly agree with. But the older I got, the more I started going to church with my friends after sleepovers, my mom and other people. I ended up discovered many different views about the Bible and God.
During high school, I started going to church with my friends who persuaded me to go with them; they took me to youth groups and Sunday services and other church events. I toughed it out for a couple of months before realizing how unhappy I was. I was only going to please others. It’s not exactly that I don’t believe in God or some higher being, it’s the moral weight the churches put on all our shoulders these days. I don’t believe exactly what any church I’ve ever been to, or any religion I’ve learned about in school, has to say. I don’t like the belief that my body's a temple only for God and he is the one who should control it. I don’t like being asked to pray for somebody to lose weight so his temple can be better for God. Being a little overweight and praying to lose a few pounds does not seem like a good use for religion to me.
The way I see people using religion these days makes me sad. People use it to guilt others into doing things because Jesus died for you. And the catch phrase 'WWJD?' rings through the air literally everywhere. We didn’t know Jesus. We don’t know what he would do! We have many interpretations and versions of the bible but which one is right? Which one is actually history, if any? We don’t know. We simply can’t and while humans want to believe in something greater than themselves as a comfort, the way this religion is used today doesn’t seem right to me. Maybe this is why I have never been able to commit myself to any religion. Maybe I’m too hard headed and much too opinionated to do anything Jesus or God tells me I should do. Or maybe I’m just seeing the bad parts of religion.
I do understand that there are good parts. There’s a lot of community service going on through churches. There are churches that feed and house the homeless and that run food kitchens. But there are also cliquey religions who shame outsiders and pray over superficial things. I feel like the use of prayer is not always as selfless or as helpful as people make it out to be. For example, if someone broke their arm and instead of going to the doctor asked everyone to pray for them on Facebook or through their church nothing is going to happen. That person’s arm will still be broken and it won’t heal properly. Instead of using prayer I feel as though people should go out and get things done themselves. Maybe I’m just so independent that I can’t see how prayer could fix any medical issues or job losses, but honestly if there is a way on earth to fix a problem go fix it yourself, don’t just pray to a God that may or may not be real to fix your problems for you. While I do realize prayer is a thing of comfort for many I just don’t think it should be the only attempt at fixing a problem.
I also see the same thing with success. Some people accredit all their success to God and his glory. If you went out and worked hard for something, say a promotion, then God did not do that for you. You did that all on your own. You deserve to feel good about yourself and your accomplishment not accredit all that work to some higher being that simply handed you that amazing thing.
To me, religion is almost a trap. It’s not some epiphany I stumbled upon last week but something I’ve felt my whole life. I may just be a rebellious, independent girl from rural Missouri, but I might also be right. I’m not saying that you should stop your religion or stop praying or believing altogether. I respect those who do believe in a God and who do pray on a regular basis. I would encourage you to take a second look at the beliefs handed to you by your church and question them. What are you really praying about in church or at home? Do your church's beliefs actually make sense or was that just the way you were raised and you feel it is necessary to continue this path? Just think, if people prayed and worked towards world peace or true equality instead of praying for weight loss and financial success maybe the world would be a better place.
