What It's Really Like Being Alone In College
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What It's Really Like Being Alone In College

"I learned not to have high expectations anymore."

What It's Really Like Being Alone In College

The response that people get after they say, "I'm struggling to make friends in college," is usually "Join a club. Get our more." Let me tell you this, I've been in about 4 different organizations at Temple, and have attended as many events that I can, and have yet to make one friend in college.

It's not that I'm "antisocial," because I have made many acquaintances throughout my year and a half in college. I talk to my classmates, and know a good amount of people, but that's it. It doesn't go deeper than that. When I talk to people in my classes or organizations, it's usually just for school or club-related things. They all have their own groups of people they hang out with.

In high school, I had this huge group of friends, where we ate lunch together every day, hung out on the weekends, and spent our summers together. In college, I haven't met that group yet.

During welcome week, I went out and did many of the events, but even in the first week, it was clear that people were already forming their own groups. What am I supposed to do? Just walk up to them and say "hey let's be friends." Because apparently that's the advice people give us.

It's hard being alone in college. I eat every meal alone. I go to the movies alone. I go shopping alone. I do everything alone. I have no one to vent my feelings to, no one to tell how my day went, and no one to enjoy college with.

I get really sad whenever I'm in the dining halls, and I see a group of maybe 10 people laughing and eating dinner together, or when I see people post Instagram photos with all their college friends, because I wish I had that.

Whenever adults ask me, "Hey are you having fun in college? Are you making friends?," I usually just lie and say, "Yeah my roommates and I hangout sometimes." When in reality, I've probably hung out with them twice out of the whole semester. I can't tell them the truth because it's kind of like asking "Hey how are you?," and you always expect the answer to be. "Good, and you?" People don't actually want to know the truth.

I think being acquaintances with someone is the worst, because you're in this weird middle. Sometimes I get my hopes up, and think hey maybe we can actually be friends, but then I get disappointed when plans don't actually get made because they have their own friends.

There was this one time when I went to the movies, and I was sitting in the middle of the movie theater. Then, someone behind me waved and I recognized that it was someone from my class. She was friendly, so I went to sit with her and start a conversation. I thought she was alone too, but a minute later, her friend showed up and I awkwardly third-wheeled. See, that is where the line gets drawn between actual friend versus just an acquaintance.

I learned not to have high expectations anymore, because in the end, I am always let down. It's the same cycle over and over again, where I just get stuck being an acquaintance.

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