Without fail, the thing about me that tends to elicit the most curiosity and questioning from others is the fact that I grew up homeschooled. Sometimes the tattoo and nose piercing throws people off, although once “But you’re so friendly!” was the incredulous response.
Not only did I learn basic social skills while being homeschooled, but I had time to take piano and dance lessons, teach dance lessons (once I got older), and take the occasional impromptu field trip to the public library. By the time I got to high school I was able to take college classes that the nerdy high school me loved—literature, French, creative writing, mythology. Yes, I took a mythology class in high school, and it was epic (pun intended). Now the nerdy college me is a little more comfortable pursuing what I love, or just taking time to find out what that is.
Honestly, whether or not homeschooling is always better is debatable, and has so many variables—how does the student learn? Who’s teaching? How well does the student work independently or with others? Where does the student live? Some of my own siblings have done better working with the structure of a homeschool co-op that meets for weekly classes, while I work much more efficiently at an independent pace. Sometimes too much togetherness doesn’t go well for homeschooled siblings, and they need the social aspect of learning in a school.
Regardless of all these variables, there are some things that I’ve personally learned that I definitely owe to homeschooling (and the mother who taught me). And they go much deeper than writing essays and knowing social cues.
You can learn about anything just by reading about it.
Both my parents were English majors. My older brother was an English major. And I’m an English major. But I swear I’m not biased.
The most common field trip growing up was the public library, and if we were bored we picked up a book. I flew through Harry Potter (several times) and Narnia. Eventually I graduated to Austen, Dickens, and Woolf. Through literature I’ve gained a better understanding of history, art, philosophy, and theology. If I was researching for a paper or a project, there were always books, whether I was writing on environmental impacts of farming or on the Victorian language of flowers.
More importantly, literature has fostered a deeper sense of empathy than I think I’ve learned anywhere else. Information and data gained from books is important, but it’s one thing to know the statistics of orphans or homelessness and another to read Auden’s “Refugee Blues”. Empathizing is making a story personal by sharing the feelings of someone else, and the best way to start is trying to understand what those feelings are.
My graduating class consisted of one. Nevertheless, homeschooling gave me the opportunity to try and fail without a crushing fear of comparison. Growing up naturally shy and insecure, homeschooling gave me an encouraging and humbling level of independence. I had to understand my weaknesses in order to take the extra time to work on them. Furthermore I was able to understand what I loved and what I was good at, and work harder at those things at my own pace.
While in some cases this could potentially lead to a false sense of superiority (and believe me, it does), homeschooling gave me a very realistic view of my strengths and weaknesses. I could either continue to struggle with them or work harder to fix them. Beyond math problems, I was confronted with other weaknesses, like my sole preference for working alone, or my tendency to get frustrated with myself. Homeschooling gave me more independence, but also confronted me with more responsibility to push myself out of my comfort zone—I could potentially mold my environment to that comfort zone.
You cannot do it alone.
More than anything else, homeschooling taught me the value of community and friendship. I think I’ve realized this more in retrospect than I did at the time. Growing up I had to make more of an effort to make friends—I wasn’t an extroverted person and I didn’t spend the majority of my day with people I wasn’t related to. My best friends were my sister and a close friend that I grew up with. This made college seem more daunting—how could I ever form friendships that were in any way as strong as those I’ve had almost my whole life?
Do I have more friends because of homeschooling? Definitely not, but that may be more due to natural introverted tendencies. Do I put more effort into friendships? Absolutely—friendship doesn’t come easily to me and is one of my greatest hungers and joys. As a quiet, homeschooled girl, my friendships and interactions with others hold a different kind of significance. They have stories that I’ll only ever know parts of, and they have shown me the tangible grace of God in ways I’d never imagined.
