All through high school, I was anxious to graduate. I was literally counting down the days until I graduate and would be heading off to college. I was ready to leave home and not spend too much time thinking about the past. It's not that I was in a bad situation; I was being a typical 18-year-old, freshly graduated and ready to go off to college by myself. What I never realized at the time, what no one told me, was how hard it actually is to say goodbye. They don't tell you about curling up in your bed the first night you're in your dorm, all alone, and wishing you were back in the bed you've been sleeping in for the past 18 years. They don't tell you that saying goodbye is the worst part.
College is great. You get to meet new people from all over the country and sometimes, other parts of the world. You stay up late watching movies with your roommate and talking about life. You try things you never thought you'd experience with people you never imagined becoming your closest friends. You test your limits and learn new things that make you question what you want to do with your life. You laugh, cry, smile, joke, and live out the last few years of no real adult responsibilities. But you do that without some of the most important people by your side.
The most common and cliche line in the book that you'll hear a million and one times is, "It will get easier." In my fourth semester of college, I'm here to tell you that it doesn't get easier. Saying goodbye to the parents that went to your every dance practice and took you to every doctor appointment, cooked you dinner and washed your clothes... Saying goodbye to family movie notes and laughing at your dad's jokes that aren't really that funny... Saying goodbye to dinners with your friends and taking trips to get the best snow cones on Earth... Saying goodbye to pointless fights with your siblings... Saying goodbye to your pets for months at a time and they don't realize why you don't come back for so long... Saying goodbye to long talks with your mom because she's the only one that truly understands you; she laughs with you, cries with you, and gives the best advice. You're saying goodbye to the tears building up in your mom's eyes. To your dad asking if you're sure you don't want to drop out and move back home. (He's half-joking, of course.) To your brother trying to pretend like it's no big deal that you're leaving. What no one tells you is that it hurts to say goodbye, and that's OK. Saying goodbye isn't supposed to be easy. It's OK to be sad and spend some days wishing your mom was there to vent to. Saying goodbye isn't easy to do when you have so much to say goodbye to. And it's OK that it isn't easy; that's life.
