Time and time again you’ve asked me, “You’d be okay without me here, though, right?” And every time, the answer is the exact same. “No, at this point in my life, I would not be okay with you gone.”

I know we don’t particularly have a choice in when we leave this place called earth. Some people believe in faith, destiny, everything happening for a reason. Others think about bad luck and karma coming back to bite us in the ass.

So, no, Momma…I’m at a point in my life when I need you the most.

You are my best friend. You are the only person I can turn to knowing that you won’t talk behind my back, that you’ll consistently be a helping a hand, and you’ll always be there when I need reassurance that I’m doing everything right. You are the only person that won’t get sick of my many phone calls, constant texting, and missing you all the time. You are the only person I can fully put all of my trust into.

You are my hero. Whenever I need to vent, you’re there to listen. Whenever I’m a sobbing mess because my life is too hectic to handle, you’re there with open arms to hug me tight. And whenever I’m so confused on where my life is headed and what the future holds for me, you’re there to tell me, “You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

You are the one that reminds me that life goes on. That what doesn’t kill you only makes you kick ass ten times harder. That when times get a little rocky, the universe is only preparing you for something amazing in the future.

So Mom, here’s something you probably do want to here. God forbid the universe has this awful plan for you to leave me way too soon, I want you to know that I won’t be the same person. I’ll be a wreck for a really long time. I’ll probably cry more than I’d eat.

But I will at some point get out of bed and go on just like you would want me to. I will live with a part of me missing and I’ll try as best as I possibly can. But I promise I’ll finish out my time here knowing I have one of the best guardian angels watching over me.

So hopefully this helps you a little bit and understand just exactly where I’m coming from. I just hope you’re still here for a long time because my chapter with you is far from over.

Love you, Momma.