My disdain of love was the ultimate rebellion, because a 20-something looking for love was exactly what my culture expected me to be.

Sure, I'm young. You're questioning my perspective, but guess what? I don't have any. I told my mother the phone this last week "I know I can't see the forest for the tree but all I can this is this freaking tree and I really hate this tree". On the verge of twenty two, I've lived very little life compared to most; but nonetheless it's still my life. It's all I have to compare.

Almost two years ago, I ended a relationship I thought was my forever. My high school sweetheart that I thought was my forever. Things had changed, I changed, he changed. Life changed. And even though I've dated since then, there has been this part of me that has been ardently opposed to a relationship. I didn't want serious, I didn't want love, I didn't want the romance. This rebellion to a serious relationship was an underlying theme in every romantic interaction I had. I wanted the trappings of love but wanted to call it something else. wanted to not commit.

I didn't realize the how destructive this outlook was until I noticed that it was effecting my same-sex friendships as well. I bailed on plans with people or avoided them altogether because I thought, hey I can do this life thing on my own, I don't need your help. But guess what - I can't do this on my own. I need friends, I need my family. I turned this avoidance of romance into an avoidance of human connection altogether. Living alone makes it easy to shut yourself in; having work and school responsibilities makes it easy to say you're tired and need to rest. But living alone and using those excuses for a few weeks turns to people not even asking you to go out for dinner. It leads to your friends texting to ask if you're alive and okay because they haven't heard from you in a week or two. To make matters worse, these friends start calling and texting less because they've got a boy to spend time with now too.

I was stuck in this perpetual cycle of not wanting to date, and not wanting friends, and then not even being able to have friends because I was a shut in.

I don't know exactly what changed, but I fell in friend-love with two of the best girls on the planet. K and F are seriously the best friends I could ever ask for and I hate that I had to live 21 years without them, but I am so happy that I never have to live without them again. K and F also have amazing guys that love them so much, but that encourage to be the strong, educate, and independent women they were born to be. These girls are superwomen on a mission to change the planet.

I get to be the third wheel and I love that; but what I love more is that they have made me want to be in love because it's just really awesome. And if love never knocks on my door, that's fine; but when and if it does, I'll at least answer and let it buy me dinner. Because watching K and F, I have seen girls like me fall in love and know that when it works, it works good.

So this is for my girls.

K, you are spunky and driven and trapped you a man that pushes you to be the best teacher in the world, and pays for your nails. I can't wait to see what you do for education and for all those kids.

F, you are caring and nurturing, but also have such a strong spirit and know exactly what you want and how to get it. You are going to be the best lawyer this side of the Mississippi and I can't wait for our kids to beat each other up.

So stop worrying so much about that boyfriend/girlfriend, and find you some awesome friends who love you and want you to be happy, becuase chances are you will be.