Many of you are most likely familiar with "The Bachelor," a popular reality show in which a group of women aim to win the heart of the same man. I will be the first to admit that every Monday night at 8 p.m., my roommates and I all huddle around the TV anxiously ready to watch the weekly episode. Although the show has become a guilty pleasure and a perfect reason for a wine night with the girls, what message does “The Bachelor” really send to its viewers?
The show is great for the laughs and the anticipation of who will receive the final rose at the end of the season, but what happens when this dating game becomes a platform for the way young women should behave or live by in their personal romantic life?
All of the women on the show hope to be engaged to the bachelor by the end of the season and the couple is expected to begin their life together outside of the show. Fans continue to romanticize the engaged couple by following them on all social media outlets and continue to support and view them as an actual example of love.
Right from the beginning, the setup of the program has a large group of women in competition for one man’s heart. I’m all for dating and exploring your options, but setting up an environment where the girls are bound to be hurt, competitive, and catty should not be the example setting of our generation’s dating culture. It’s disheartening to see the bachelor developing serious relationships, only to be disloyal by advancing with numerous women at the same time. Whether the women agree to these circumstances or not, it displays an awful standard for women to romanticize someone who does not have their undivided attention.
“The Bachelor” thrives off of and is based on competition. Competition and relationships should never go together. This idea teaches women that it is normal to fight for a man’s attention and that they are supposed to do it. You should never have to force someone to give you the attention that you unapologetically deserve. A relationship should feel natural and it should not feel like forced affection. Why would you want it to be anything else?
Again with the competition factor, the way that girls go about gaining this desired attention, specifically basing their attempts on physical and sexual attraction is, without a doubt, downgrading. It is clear that a lot of the character personas are dramatically highlighted and very much staged, but the viewers watching are very much so real. With that being said, the continuous emphasis on trying to sexually arouse the bachelor in order to create a romantic relationship should not be the reality women portray in their own attempts to find love in society. Taking it back to the basics; the inside is what counts.
We then go into the “crazy” women that are featured on every single season. If you’re following this season, that’s Corinne. Again, I recognize that not all of these women are truly being themselves, or maybe their character is portrayed in a dramatic light. Clearly for entertainment, the crazy girl is always hyped up and eventually gets shut down for her bold actions. With the same personality almost every time, the girl bluntly expresses her die hard love for the bachelor and confidently goes after exactly what she wants. Although some of the things these specific girls do are outrageous, most of the time she’s being true to herself and confident about who she is, whether viewers are persuaded to like her or not. As I said, the girl is always eliminated at some point, giving the overall message that confidence is something to be looked down upon. Women should feel empowered to be themselves and find a person who loves them for exactly that. Confidence should not be shamed.
Lastly, all of these women are said to be chosen before the actual bachelor is chosen. This means that all of the women are magically all compatible and impressed with the bachelor as a future life partner. Rarely do you see a girl walk away from the show because her needs are not being met or she just simply decides she isn’t developing feelings for this man. It also claims that the bachelor’s soul mate is participating on the show and Chris Harrison, the host of the show, is the perfect matchmaker. It tends to show that you are stuck in the circumstances given to you. There are always other fish in the sea; do not ever limit your options or settle for what is put in front of you.
I am in full support of women watching “The Bachelor” religiously, trust me I’m right there with you, but just remember, this is not where you should be receiving your love advice.
