It’s no question that men and women beat to different drums, and we all have fundamental commonalities, regardless. We are biologically different, we’ve known this since we first opened an anatomy book, heard it from an older sibling, talked of it at a sleepover late at night with our friends in grade school, or figured it out all on your own. Over the years, social norms fell into place, dictating what men and women should or shouldn’t do. We grew up with an idea of what you as a (wo)man are entitled to. We learned by observation what we’re expected to do, according to our genders. Social constructs were put into place without even realizing it.
The thing is, we feel entitled to different aspects of each other. We feel deserving of a certain privilege. The key word being privilege -- these things are not something you innately deserve as a (wo)man.
The thing is, no one person is superior and no one person is inferior; no gender should owe the other gender a certain amount. That should be understood by now. But as a society, we can't seem to fully grasp this concept.
To the men (or boys, however you see them).
First off, I’m not throwing every man I’ve ever met under the bus. But of course, there are a handful of guys I've met who read this and know I'm talking about them. It needs to be instilled and understood in the younger generations that you, as a man, don’t own us. Women aren’t property. Male privilege is so predominant in our society today and we don't even realize it sometimes.
Property is what you own and you can treat it as you wish. But women? We are not property in the slightest -- but it’s still how we are viewed. A smack of the butt, grabbing of the butt, leg, and you expect her to be comfortable with it. It’s disgusting and you aren’t entitled to her body. You aren’t entitled to a hookup because you’ve been dating or talking to a girl for x-amount of time, and just because a girl is flirting with you doesn’t mean that you deserve the right to her body. A relationship shouldn't be based on whether you get laid or on how the date is going or whether you've bought her dinner. You aren't entitled to a woman just because she flirts with you, wears tight clothing, is dubbed a slut, or dances in a provocative way.
The actual audacity it takes for you to feel deserving of a women's body is beyond me. I’m sure your mother didn’t raise you that way and I’m sure when you have kids of your own, you wouldn't want your daughter treated the same way you're treating girls today by grabbing them like meat when they walk by. A line was crossed between being genuine with someone and assuming it is owed to you. Women's bodies are not yours for the taking solely because of your gender.
To my fellow girls.
There's a definite cycle of what we, as women, think we are entitled to and I am no exception to falling prey to the cycle. I have to get up and leave a conversation when I hear a girlfriend complaining of how her boyfriend won’t take her out to an expensive dinner every night. Yes, of course it’s a gesture that should happen every once in a while. But does he owe you that? Not at all. When did it become that men had to pay for you? You work as well, he has things to spend his money on just as much as you do. There's a distinction between chivalry and greed. He can love you without paying for your love.
I’m awestruck that you think just because Sally-Someone's boyfriend bought her a necklace, that you deserve one as well. The gesture should be appreciated but you are not entitled to men paying for your whims.
It’s disgusting to me to hear girls complain of their boys not taking them on dates anymore, when girls can take guys on dates just as much as guys can take girls on dates. There's no rule where a guy has to take you out to dinner, a movie, ice cream after, and send you flowers the next day. I’m not sure how or when that even became a requirement?
Men don't owe you a relationship either. Just because you've been talking, hanging out, doesn't mean he owes you a dinner date. He doesn't owe you a relationship because you like him and he was genuinely nice to you a couple times. He has feelings, too.
Women and men have a mindset of being owed a certain aspect of their time, body, money, etc. based on their gender. You aren't entitled to it, it's a social construct. Everything's a privilege. We aren't entitled to each other.
