What does Memorial Day mean to you?

To most Americans, Memorial Day is an excuse to party and get drunk. They spend their day off work cooking up some barbecue, throwing back a few cold ones, and celebrating with family members. But what are they celebrating?

Unless you’re a veteran, or a family member of a veteran, you most likely fail to realize what Memorial Day is really about. It is not a celebration. It is a day of remembrance: a day to pay our respects to all of those who didn’t come home.

I find it a little bit selfish really – we take the day off work and spend our day partying while all of those directly affected by the loss of a service member aren’t so lucky. In effect, Americans use the deaths of thousands and thousands of brave men and women as an excuse to party and get drunk. Many Americans aren’t so lucky – on Memorial Day, places like Arlington National Cemetery will be full of those family members who will forever live with the loss of a fallen service member.

Even if you aren’t one of those people who lost someone in one of the many wars in our past, it is important to put down your drink and think about what the day really means. Memorial Day is a reminder of what the cost of freedom really is. It’s a reminder that freedom does not come easy. It does not come with diplomacy and cordial dinners with leaders of other countries. Freedom comes from earning it – earning it through wars hard fought by normal people like you and me who stepped up to the front line to protect your right to drink that beer. Don’t those people deserve more?

Memorial Day is a time to remember all of those Americans that we lost during war. It is not a time to celebrate our veterans or current service members. For that, there is Veteran’s Day and Armed Forces Day – both of which are days for celebration. It’s a day to come together as Americans to remember those who died for our freedoms – the freedom to vote, the freedom to dream, the freedom to be who we want to be. We would have none of that if these wars hadn’t been fought and won through the acts of the brave men and women who wear the American flag on their arm.

Memorial Day is a time to remember what it means to be a hero. We are plagued with the idea that a hero is superhuman, like Batman or Superman, but fail to recognize that the real heroes wear combat boots and carry an M-16. Real heroes owe nothing to you or our country, but they risk their lives fighting for your freedoms. They give up all the things we as Americans consider normal in our everyday lives – their marriages, the chance to experience important moments like the birth of their children, and even regular meals. Yet if you ask them, they’ll say they’re “just doing their job.” They give meaning to dedication, honor, and respect through their selfless sacrifice in defense of our country and our freedoms.

So this Memorial Day, even if you do feel the need to party and get drunk, at least spend some time contemplating what the holiday really means. At 3 p.m., the national time of remembrance, set down your beer and take a moment of silence to remember all of those who weren’t so lucky – the heroes that gave their lives for you to be drinking that beer and enjoying time with family.