Have you ever had a conversation with yourself and ask why is loving someone so hard?
Why is it not easy to just go with the flow of things as you date the person? What about when you get married to the person? You both grow apart and wondered what happened to that love you both once shared.
As my thoughts raced on the idea of a perfect love story, I asked a friend on her thoughts on the matter as well. The conversation started off slow and within five minutes it went to "0 to 100 real quick"! Along the lines from our hour long phone conversation, Caitlin hit many points that I thought were raw and true.
Here are her thoughts:
“Where does the spark and infatuation from the beginning go? It’s crazy how quickly you can go from being excited to talk to a person to feel like you’re forcing the conversation. The quality time turns into “I was working” and the consistent communication becomes “I don’t know”. When does “I hate to see you leave” turn into “hurts too much to stay? Maybe we’re all guilty of taking things for granted, or letting our fears stop us from taking certain chances. Maybe we think happiness is just something that finds us, instead of being something we work for and choose to have. And maybe, just maybe that’s why we get it wrong so often. It’s amazing how fast things can change. You go from laughing about anything to arguing about everything. You have to go through the motions. Wondering if they’re real, if they really care, or if they’re going to run when things get rough. You want to give more of yourself to somebody, but it’s hard these days because you just never know if you’ll get anything back. You think you have it all down. You do the little things, you stay consistent, but somehow it just doesn’t add up, maybe the problem is that we expect the love to be magical before we become magicians. Or could it be that we’re all just better breakers than builders. We’d rather have feelings we can throw away, and have love that’s disposable. God forbid a situation require us to grow, learn more, and actually put work in. reality is rough. You only want what’s easy and that’s why what you get never last. Everybody wants to be fought for, but nobody is willing to fight. She loves the butterflies. But she avoids new beginnings because she hates having to start over. He’s tired, but he’s so used to the chase that he’s scared to stop running. Makes you wonder…is love really hard? Or are people just that difficult?”
My question now is what makes your love different from mine or anyone else’s? Is it because you took the time to get to know the person you are with? Did you both come to a mutual understanding that you two will work things out regardless of the circumstances? Or is it that you two promised to communicate and express your feelings whenever something is wrong? Whatever that may be, can you both say that your love is real and true?
To be continued….
