Love (n.) - an intense feeling of deep affection for someone or something.
Love is a strong word. We use it hundreds of times each day to describe how we feel and what we are passionate about. When I was growing up, I was always taught that hate was the strongest word. The word hate can be seen as a powerful weapon, a weapon at the tip of our tongues very disposal. I learned very young that the word hate should never be spoken to anyone because of the damage it could cost.
One New Years Eve, when I was about 12-years-old, I was spending the evening with my grandparents at their home in Maine. My parents had decided to go out for the night and left my siblings and I alone with my grandparents. When the clock struck midnight, my parents gave us a call to wish us a "Happy New Year," but I made a quick sigh and hung up the phone. I was beyond angry about the whole situation. I can remember how my blood would rise with ever tick of the countdown clock. I didn't hate them, but I was so mad that the word hate was the only thing that could capture these feelings in my mind. My grandparents saw my scene over the phone and immediately my grandfather looked at me and said, "Now what if something had happened to them right when you got off the phone? Do you really want the last thing they remember of you is how upset you were? They need to hear how much you love them." I looked at my grandfather and the tears lifted away as I picked up the phone to tell my parents how much I loved them.
From that day forward, the word love has been the most important aspect of my vocabulary. I don't use it willy-nilly to describe everything I see and do, but I make sure love is shown where it is due. I always say "love you" to my family whenever we say goodbye for a long period of time or even before bed. I also make sure to tell my friends once and a while how much I appreciate them by using the "l-word," too.
The way I have spoken about love has only been just that. I want the people that I love and care for to know just how much I appreciate them. It's never been anything too deep or exaggerated to speak about on another level, but these past few years have opened my eyes to the real meaning of the word, love. I always saw love as a one-dimensional surface, either you have that deep affection for someone/something or you don't, but over the past few years I've come to see and experience the depth of the word.
I first found love in myself, which took a lot longer than I would have liked it to. It took some time for me to see myself clearly in the mirror and understand all my imperfections. Loving myself meant accepting every part of myself, good or bad. By doing this, I was able to do things I enjoyed with more passion and desire. I was able to play softball with more heart and love what I was doing all because I embraced myself a little bit more.
Being at college not only allowed me to find this love in myself, but in my family. The word love was not only used to say how I felt to them, but I was able to feel a sense of urgency and ache to be with my family. I missed them, which only made my love and adoration for home more powerful and passionate.
Through all the ups and downs of this year, I was able to find love with God, as well. I found a way to sit back and understand the path God is building for me, no matter the good or bad. I was able to let my faith in God grow stronger and deeper as I let my love flourish.
It all came full circle when I finally fell in love. To be honest, I wasn't expecting it to happen, it just did. Before this, I had never experienced being in love, so I had no idea what to presume the feelings would be like. All I can really say is that I never thought my heart could have as much warmth, adoration and love for one person as my heart does with him. He has truly taught me the meaning of the word love.
I could write a million words surrounding the meaning of the word love, but what's the point in doing that? Everyone experiences love differently. It comes and it goes. It's powerful at times, but then it diminishes. Sometimes you can be so lost that you don't even know if there is any love left in the world for you. If there is one thing I would want the reader to take away from this; however you define love, more or less, make sure you express it to those who you need to because you never know when time will run out.
Going through these experiences, I have learned how amazing love truly is. Love is bigger than any of us individually or all of us combined. Love can consume you or beat you down. Love is apart of all of us. The love for who you are, what you do, and the people that surround you is more powerful than any one word can describe.
