As an Asian who grew up in the South, I could seldom relate to anyone. Although I was lucky enough to experience so many different things, I barely knew anything about myself. I moved to Hawaii in 8th grade and it changed my life. I wrote this essay about how I felt about who I was and how Hawaii changed that.
“Can you say something in Korean?”
My lunch: rice, seaweed, and an assortment of Korean vegetables, and chopsticks. The chatter of the cafeteria silenced as I slowly take out each part of my lunch. Their eyes stared down on me. Even though I was young, I understood my peers’ curiosity; I was one in three of the East Asians in my grade. However, as I went to school in places like Tennessee, Kentucky, or Alaska, my Korean background made me feel like an animal in a zoo. The constant feeling of being watched made me self-conscious about what made me different, so I quickly began to hide my culture to avoid standing out.
At age 13, I found myself in Honolulu, Hawaii, a drastic change from the small town I once lived in in the South. Everything I knew and liked about myself was going to change. I entered my first day at a new school, something I have done many times before, with a set expectation: the urge to hide an important part of who I am. I immediately noticed an abundance of cultures I have never been exposed to before. I realized that this new chapter of my life would be like no other. I discovered countless individuals who took immense pride in their culture, and this pride was respected. As time went by, I learned to adapt to this new, healthy way of life.
I created new relationships with people who informed me of how this city works. I found people who shared my Korean roots, like the strictness of our parents and our favorite type of Korean barbecue. I felt something that I have never felt before: community. This has sparked a thirst to know more: I want to learn how to speak, write and comprehend Korean better. I want to know more about how my parents grew up in Korea and what their life was like when they were my age. I communicate with my parents on a closer level because I have become more interested in our culture, instead of trying to push it away. Thus, I am continually learning new aspects about myself that I possibly could never have learned if I did not move to Hawaii.
Having been in this environment for almost four years, I have never felt more comfortable with who I am. Although at first I was caught off guard, I have experienced a community of cultures that has helped me reach for my highest potential. I have learned to be accepting and respectful because I know the sinking feeling of when others lack that same courtesy. Moving to Hawaii has made me more confident and unapologetic about myself, which I know is going to continue to be a big part of how I can succeed in all parts of my life.
I never try to hide any part of who I am anymore, and I have to thank this move for helping me realize not to be ashamed of myself.
