I have lived everywhere. So that means I am from nowhere. I don’t have a hometown, and am always at a loss for what to say when people ask where I’m from. For the past few years I have lived in the south, and I have sometimes felt like a scientist so dedicated to research, that I have chosen to live with my subjects and try to blend in. The south is by far my favorite place in America, so I thought I would share my notes from years of intense studies of what it is like to live in the south, but not be from the south.

Camouflage (or camo as the locals call it) is everywhere. It is found anywhere they can stick it. Clothes, jewelry, couches, cars, hats, tables, dishes, prom dresses, wall paper, dining rooms, picture frames, the neighbor’s cat, the first born child, everything. After years of study, I still don’t understand this one.

Sweet tea is real, and it is amazing. The locals drink it all day, every day. And it tastes different everywhere you go. From state to state, or even just across the street. It took me years to understand their love for it, but once I did, there was no turning back. My life will forever be changed.

Opening doors for people is an active part of their culture. It doesn’t matter if they know you. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t carrying anything. They will open the door for you. I left my area of study recently to go the Northeast, and let me tell you, it was rough. I tried to go inside of a store, and I was at a complete loss. I just stood there, staring at the door. I had forgotten how to open it. My hands haven’t touched a door in years.

While I found myself staring at the door, racking my brain to try and remember how to open it, people were yelling at me. I think they were yelling rude things, but I couldn’t understand them because of the speed at which they were talking. I had gotten used to the way the locals talk, which is slower than molasses (a phrase the locals use, I’m pretty proud of myself for picking up on it). It’s like they have nothing to do, nowhere to go. It takes them two years just to spit out a single sentence.

There is a difference between being country and being southern. At first glance, you might not see it, but the locals definitely know it is there.

They don’t realize that they have an accent. I have observed them laughing and talking about other people’s accents, with no idea of their own. This has always been so strange to me. Sometimes it is less of an accent, and more of a whole other language. They have words and phrases that I have never heard before. I often finding myself asking one of the locals what something means.

Men, women, boys, and girls of all ages can be found wearing cowboy boots. Every season, every weather. I have yet to form my opinion on the matter.

The locals are often very friendly. They are more than willing to drop what they are doing to help you. Some of the kindest people I have ever met can be found here. It is honestly such a noticeable difference compared to everywhere else.

My favorite part about the south is how they openly express their love for Jesus. This is hard to find elsewhere. I have been the minority by going to church, and here I am not. People talk about God everywhere. There is a church on every corner with people ready to welcome you in. I cannot express to you how amazing this is.

I conclude my studies with the overall opinion that the south is a great place, unlike any other. Good people, good places, good golly: The south is somewhere everyone should at least visit.