When I left for college, I left with the knowledge that every relationship I had in my life would grow, change or cease to exist. Every single one. I left knowing that because I was going to change, everything else would too. When I left for college, I was very focused on all of the moving parts in my life and how they were going to fit together, both at school and at home. I only cared about the leaps and bounds that I'd be making, and I sort of forgot that my little brother was making leaps and bounds of his own.
Each time I came home to visit, I noticed things. I noticed he was taller, his voice was deeper, he got his braces off. Most of the time, it was only these little things. He'd fill me in on his new friends, maybe some girls he liked, and how school was going. But other than that, the changes were only really evident through basic observation... or so they seemed.
My younger brother graduated from 8th grade just before I came home for the summer, and I could immediately tell that more had changed than his appearance. He had decided on a high school and was more than ready to start the next chapter of his life—he had matured far beyond being the little 8th grader I had left in the fall. It was sort of like those side-by-side pictures in magazines where they change a few things and you have to spot the differences: at a glance, nothing has really changed, but when you really look, and you're really present, there's a stark difference.
Because I'm the oldest of two, I never had an older sibling come home from college. I never knew what that was like—I never could have anticipated the change. I never could have even known to anticipate that there would be a change. When you're in the college environment where everything is about you, your plans for the night, your classes, your future plans, you forget to check in. You forget to call. You forget that as you're growing up, everyone else is too.
I talk to my younger brother about real things now. Things that we've never been able to be on the same page about. We talk about our lives, about our parents, about our friends, about struggles that every teenager and young adult goes through. The things we can talk about now transcend our surface-level differences, and I'm beginning to see how mature my "little brother" really is. He's smart as a whip, fiercely loyal, a hard worker, and kind-hearted. I see things in him I never saw before. I see him becoming a young man.
To say I'm a proud older sibling would be an understatement. As far as I've come this year, he's come further. Now, I'll leave you some unsolicited advice: call, text, skype—do whatever you can. You don't have to miss out on moments because of distance. Be present. I only wish I had been able to experience some growing moments with my younger brother. I like to think I've taught him a thing or two these past 20 years, but he's teaching me now. To my first best friend: keep on keepin' on. You're not half bad.
