Some people believe there is a reputation assigned to birth order of families. If you are the youngest child, people often say you can get away with almost anything. If you are the oldest child, it's common to hear that you have Mom or Dad's undivided attention all of the time. And unfortunately, the middle children are stuck with the reputation for being... well, the "middle child."
Every family is different. However, with my experience being the oldest of four children, I have learned a LOT in nineteen years. Being the first born child has taught me a lot about relationships and embracing the uniqueness of your family. If you are the oldest like myself, one particular word first comes to mind: responsibility.
My brother, Nicholas, and my sister, Taylor, were born on December 21st, 1999. I was only 19 months old but my role as "big sister" had officially begun. Three years later, my sister, Emily, was born on October 22nd. I had three new best friends and I was going to do everything I could to cherish and take care of them for the rest of my life.
Little did I know how much of an influence I would be in each of their lives. A key factor of being the oldest child is being a role model to your siblings. You're the first; you set the standards for the younger ones. So, there's a little pressure behind being the first to experience everything. One thing I realize now that I didn't in middle school or high school was that my siblings constantly looked up to me throughout their childhood.
They wanted to do exactly what I was doing: listen to the music I was listening to, practice the sports I played, join the clubs and groups I was in, take certain classes I took, watch the TV shows I was watching. This admiration came mostly from my sisters, while my brother - being the only boy of the four kids - looked up more to my dad. It was important for me to make choices in my life that were smart and safe because if I hadn't, it's possible that my sisters' and brother's lives would be very different right now.
Like brother and sister sometimes do, Nicholas and I don't always see eye-to-eye on everything. It's different being a role model to him than my sisters. However, our relationship has taught me that brothers can also be your good friends. There are things you can relate to that sometimes your parents just don't understand.
And I appreciate having him in my life for that reason. To be honest, if you would've asked me in high school or middle school what I thought of my brother, "friend" probably would not have been the first word out of my mouth. But as we've both matured and grown in life, I can easily say now that I look up to him (literally and metaphorically).
Not only have my responsibilities as the eldest sibling been important in the lives of my brother and sisters, but also in the lives of my parents. My parents relied on me a lot throughout my childhood to watch out and take care of my siblings when they were unable to or just needed some extra help. And I did. Even when I was tired or didn't want to, I still stayed.
One thing that makes my family a little extra special is my sister, Taylor. Taylor has some developmental and hearing disabilities that cause her to sometimes throw unnecessary tantrums and get frustrated very easily. We realize it is hard for her to control and this has been a challenge in each of our lives as a family.
However, it also means we don't love or treat her any less. Her disability does not define her. Being there for Taylor to look up to and rely on has been one of the most important lessons I have learned in my life as an older sister. The same goes for my sister, Emily. There is a lot of responsibility for being an older sister. But I absolutely would not trade it for anything else.
Brothers and sisters fight; sometimes they are best friends and sometimes they can't stand each other. All families are different. If you don't have any siblings, maybe there's a friend in your life that you feel like a brother or sister to. Relationships help us grow and learn characteristics of ourselves that we didn't realize we could embrace. So, embrace your unique family. You only have one life, so I encourage you to cherish and be thankful for what you have.
