When people find out that my boyfriend and I do not attend the same school, the first thing that happens are their faces turn to shock while their jaw simultaneously hits the ground. Because I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now, I get asked what it's like all the time.
The first thing I can say is this: it's not all rainbows and sunshine but you make the most of it. To all those people in the same boat as I am, and those who are just beginning the journey, I'd like to offer some advice.
1. Communication is KEY
I seriously cannot stress this enough. Communicating with people in person is often difficult, so imagine not being able to talk about things face to face. If something is bothering you but you don't want to say it because you are afraid it is going to cause a problem, SAY IT ANYWAY. If you don't, the problem is only going to continue to grow and bother you further.
2. Try and visit one another
My boyfriend and I try to visit one another every 2-3 weeks, alternating who goes where. Villanova and Syracuse may be 4 hours away from each other, but luckily we both have our cars. Plus visiting/being visited is always a fun time and almost like a mini get-away.
If you don't have a car, try looking up bus tickets or even splurge on a plane ticket if need be. I look forward to it every time and it makes the distance all worth it when we can see one another again.
3. Develop little routines
The best thing my boyfriend and I do is making it a point to talk to each other and see one another right before bed. Right before we both fall asleep, even if its 3 am after a very long night of studying (or partying, again, whatever you do), we call each other on Facetime even if it's just for 5 minutes to say goodnight, and honestly, it is the best part of my day.
4. Little acts of kindness!!
Random little surprises go a long way when you're not with your significant other. Try sending them something, a letter, some cookies, buy them some dinner and have it delivered to them if they're having a rough day and haven't eaten yet.
If you don't want to do this, do what I did: write 21 letters to them and put them in separate envelopes indicating different times to open them. That way, they get to control when and where they get their little surprises.
5. They miss you
Aside from my very first piece of advice, this is my most important one. No matter where you are, or who they're with or vice versa, they miss you. Chances are, they think about you more often than they don't, and it gets tough being away from one another. If this happens, let them know you're thinking about them in whatever way you want, they'll appreciate it, trust me.
Yes, long distance is hard, BUT it will always be worth it if you truly love them. My relationship has never been stronger and I believe it is because long distance taught us to communicate better, love harder, never stop thinking about one another, and to be each other's best friends.
